Every single companion and now HHAid, even the manager of them has told me that a nursing home is a bad idea because "they dope them up".
Well, DUH! I have toured the places and they are all placid and quiet and I know that is why. I have visited 5 star homes.
I cannot care for her and have 24hr people in her apt. and guess what ?
SHE RAN AWAY again ! How dare they make me cry about trying to get her in a home :(
It is true that many nursing home residents are on medications to improve their mood or decrease anxiety, but then many elders in the home are on those meds too. The trick is to find someone who will work with you to find a balance of the right meds for your mom. Being afraid, panicking over minor issues, being aggressive etc is not conducive to a good quality of life, but it shouldn't be necessary to drug her into a stupor either. Proper medication just might be able to give a little of your mom back to you.
You can't take care of your mother at home, even with 24/7 help. You believe a nursing home is your best and maybe only option. Don't pay attention to anyone else. They're not in your position. They all have their own agenda. Just press the "ignore" button and carry on.