If they have the money to pay and they say they don't want to be a burden? My mom wants to live with me. She has the money for assisted living but refuses. She wants to leave the money to her children but won't use any of he money to help pay for her care. Some people have said she doesn't want to go to assisted living because she would lose her independence but she will lose that if she lives with me. She will be dependent on me. That's not independent. She doesn't have any significant health issues. She is still mobile without any canes or walkers. When she comes to stay with me she refuses to do anything for herself. Even bathing herself, combing her hair and taking her meds. She does these things for herself in her home but when she visits me she hands me the comb and says "comb my hair for me". I am going trying to decide whether to take her into our home. My husband does not want to. I feel obligated but I don't think I am ready for this level of care. Any advice would be appreciated. Especially from any seniors out there.
If you're troubled by the fact that she won't even comb her own hair or bathe herself, or take her meds when she's just visiting try to imagine how needy she'll become if she moves in. Her "level of care" now is nothing compared to what it will become in the near future. I would caution you against moving her in and work on convincing her to move into an assisted living facility. Tour a couple of places and then go and have a nice lunch out with your mom to discuss it.
.... going trying to decide whether to take her into your home .... Not without a written contract for expenses and long term care etc. You have NO IDEA what would follow.