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Mostly Independent
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You will gets lots of good advice here. It is sad when one starts to become incontinent. It has happened recently with my mother. She will only wear briefs for such now which is fine with me. It sounds that your wife is behaving somewhat petulantly regarding this. I truly do understand how difficult it is. Sadly it is a reality. I have had my mother seen and tested by a urologist. I would tell your wife that if she continues to refuse the Depends you cannot go to public places with her and that she will be embarrassing herself not to mention the hardship she may be putting on public places she is in when this occurs. Perhaps a cure can be found if she is tested but in the meanwhile she needs to wear the briefs that are for this problem. My 69 year old husband recently accepted that he had to wear them after a bladder biopsy. It certainly is not what he envisioned for himself at this stage of his life but he accepted the reality.
I agree. I'd try to figure out what the cause is and have it treated, such as if it's a UTI, she may need antibiotics. OR, she may be having incontinence. Does she have dementia? If so, you'll just have to calmly ensure that she wears Depends and that they are changed regularly. You might tell her that the doctor says it's a good idea to ward off infections.
If she were thinking clearly, she would do better. So, if she's not, it's up to the caretaker to make sure it happens. At some point, the person with the cognitive decline can't make decisions like that, because, it's not in her best interest.
Not sure what medical condition your wife has, or if she is able to drive and be independent, so my answer is if she’s not. remove all her panties and replace them with depends so it’s her only choice to wear them. Once she’s use to them she will be ok. If she has dementia tell her it was her idea so she doesn’t get embarrassed in public when she has an accident. If that doesn’t work I would tell her you aren’t going out anymore until she wears protection from accidents. Prayer for you and God’s blessings as a caregiver.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/my-wife-doesnt-care-about-being-in-public-after-she-has-peed-her-pants-but-its-embarrassing-for-me-h-448395.htm
If she were thinking clearly, she would do better. So, if she's not, it's up to the caretaker to make sure it happens. At some point, the person with the cognitive decline can't make decisions like that, because, it's not in her best interest.
remove all her panties and replace them with depends so it’s her only choice to wear them. Once she’s use to them she will be ok. If she has dementia tell her it was her idea so she doesn’t get embarrassed in public when she has an accident. If that doesn’t work I would tell her you aren’t going out anymore until she wears protection from accidents. Prayer for you and God’s blessings as a caregiver.