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My parents need to be in assisted living.  One has Alzheimers, the other has physical issues.  Will Asst. Liv. let them be together? It seems most places we've checked don't allow someone with Alzheimers to live in an Assisted living apt. even though he still knows my mom but needs help with toileting, bathing, grooming, dressing, fixing meals, etc. They all advertise that those are the things they help people with, yet if you have a diagnosis of AD, they put them in a separate memory care unit. My parents don't want to be separated. How can we help them stay together?

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VALI:

Way go go Val! ... If that isn't looking out for fellow caregivers, I don't know what is.

-- ED
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I really like the idea of the adult family homes and have read great things about them. Unfortunately they can only be found in a limited number of state. The states I know for sure are AZ, CA, GA, OR, TX, and WA. I also know that MO, IL, and IN do not have these. For residential care and assisted living the question I am asked is: If your mom hears a fire alarm can she get herself out of bed and down a flight of stairs? Well no. If she could do that she wouldn't need assisted living. As you can tell I am very frustrated with the limited choices in Missouri. I hope you can find something better in MN.
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Hi My lease is up the end of may,We found out my husband has lung cancer & just had brain surgery. I can't renew my lease as if something happens to him I can't afford to stay here. can they force me to leave with him sick? I pay my rent. If I renew I won't be able to get out of lease quite a problem We don't have the time to look for apt right now he is too sick thank you
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Thank you so much for the hug. I just noticed something else in your question above. The Assisted Living will help your parents but, it will be an extra service you need to ask and pay for, I meant your parents. In Group Homes everything is included. These places are licensed and inspected by the state once a year(ask for these state inspection when you go for a tour as well call their references) they have doctor visits, dentist, eye MD, x-rays, pharmacy home delivery, hair stylist, PT, OT, everything they need at least in our state WA so, you just need to be the wonderful daughter and don't worry.
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Look for Residential Care homes. Small environment, looks like home, more help with supervision and care. Also, much cheaper and extremely flexible. Every state has different names for it. They are usually listed under Assisted Living and they are named either Adult Family Homes, Adult Care homes, Group Homes, Foster Homes, etc.
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The one company that I am aware of that is more flexible in that area is Emeritus. At our local facility, they do house both populations together as long as the Alz hasn't progressed to the point that a resident is wandering,violent, or is acting out.
Also, will those ALFs you contacted allow your mother to be in the memory wing with your father?
I can see how this is a troubling situation for your family. I hope you find a good solution.
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