I and my sister were providing in home care for our mother with dementia and disability factors. We did not want to place her into the Nursing facility but it became a necessity due to her combative nature and her disability has now confined her to a wheelchair. My question is, should I move her to another Nursing facility after she has been for over a year now in this same facility? She has finally stopped asking us to take her home. It was quite an adjustment for her and us to place her in the facility.
The thing is both I and my sister are unhappy with the treatment that she is receiving at this time in the facility she is in. Examples include but are not limited to: when she first moved in she was asked to give her consent to sign her bank account over to the facility Nursing home and change her bank over to theirs without informing us, the facility is constantly doing things that are insubordinate, they won't return my calls, and when asked for details concerning mother I usually get the run around, she fell about a week ago which has been a constant here lately and was taken to the hospital and we never received a call about it. In fact how we found out When we went to visit her and her arm was all bandaged. She has fallen before and had to have stitches on her face in several places. Now she is unable to see from her left eye. I know that the instability is part of the dementia but we want to be informed about it and answers to what had went on in the emergency room. My concern is my mother. Will the move be to much for her? I have made complaints to management but things continue to happen. Please help!
PLEASE GET HER OUT OF THERE ASAP!
She may well decline and the decline may be permanent or she may recover a bit.
If she has dementia the facility should NEVER have asked her to sign anything as that would not be legal. She is not competent to make financial decisions. (I do hope you have POA, or someone in the family does) I would carefully go over ANY and ALL expenses that they have put through.
Getting back to the decline. She may or may not, she may or may not be upset with the move. You can never tell how someone with dementia will react in a given situation.
But when it comes to safety and well being that is more important and worth the risk of a bit of a decline.
I would get a medical transport for her, she may think that it is another trip to the hospital. How you get her belongings to the new place will be the trick.
Or if you do take her out occasionally for lunch do the same but when you bring her back it will be to her new room. That would be easier as one of you can set up the room while the other has mom in transit.
Do what you have to do to ensure she's receiving quality care. Check out the Medicare website for ratings on nursing homes in your area, and look at reviews on Yelp or other sites to get an idea of how other places work. Visit in person, too.
Yes, Mom will have a period of adjustment and will likely not bounce back all the way, but she certainly isn't being cared for properly at all now so it can't be worse.
I would also file a complaint about them not notifying you of your mom's fall and trip to the hospital. That's completely inexcusable unless you aren't listed at the person to notify in the case of an emergency or don't have power of attorney for her.
Before moving her, check out several places. Ask many questions and ensure that you would be allowed to visit anytime without prior notice. Hopefully now that so many are vaccinated, access should be allowed and hopefully they would allow you access at other times to "check" the place. Note whatever you can, how others are cared for, whether they are left sitting unattended, left in their rooms, check at mealtimes, use your nose to check odors, etc. The more you can check before making a decision, the better.
While she may or may not experience a decline, my bigger concern would be for her care and to reduce the falls. While falls are to be expected with many, being in a wheelchair, this would be distressing to me and bad for mom!
It is true that many NHs were understaffed before the virus, and that has continued to be an issue (even vet offices are sorely understaffed at this time!) Even finding in-home care-givers is becoming/already was an issue.
If mom's room can be set up in a similar fashion, it should reduce any confusion after a move. She's in a wheelchair, so it's not like she'd get lost on her own - they should be wheeling her to activities and meals. Staff might be new/unfamiliar, but with short term memory loss typical with dementia, she might not even know one care-giver from another anyway.
Any setback or unfamiliarity with staff would be secondary to poor care. Do your best to scope out a new place and move her!
(despite what some think/post, not all facilities are the same.)
He’s now in a 3 star facility with a 5 star patient care rating and it shows. I put him in hospice since I wanted him to be comfortable instead of suffering through radiation and chemo for a large glioblastoma. He has improved and it’s been a far more pleasant experience for his 22 year old daughter to deal with. The billing office isn’t dodging me, his surroundings are much nicer and my niece can see her dad anytime. Medicare wouldn’t pay for his transport—he could barely walk at the time—but with assistance at both places she was able to move him.
While you are not directly involved in her day to day care, you are still a caregiver. Worrying about her care, wondering when the next call comes in about another problem, all takes a toll on you. Since we moved him life is better. I hope you can move her to a better place.
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