I have posted before about my 80 year old dad who is currently living with my sister her husband and their six children. It came to light yesterday that he that is my dad yells at the kids when the parents aren't at home and a neighbor happened to be there yesterday that he didn't know was in the house and heard this. My sister is at her wits end and says he can't live there anymore and so it will fall to me to take care of him until we can find him a home to rent or get him into assisted living which he adamantly refuses to do. He does want his own place again and thinks he can live alone. I guess we are going to have to show some tough love and hurt his feelings which is what we're trying to avoid, but he is scaring his own grandchildren and I don't think he even cares. Any advice appreciated.
If you are recovering from hip replacement, and will need the other hip done, how will you be able to help your Dad if he needs help getting out of bed, if he falls, if he needs help with bathing or bathroom duty, help getting in and out of the car, walking up one step or two?
Sometimes we need tough love with our elders. If a child refuses to go to school, we don't say that is fine, they can stay at home and watch TV all day. Tell Dad he doesn't have a choice. If he still refuses and you can't get him to see the common sense, then let him go on his own, he will learn quick enough.... then hire someone to help.
If your Dad wants to go back to Arizona and live on his own then he has to take full responsibility for his choice. If you feel he will be falling, going hungry, and not taking his meds, right there is enough reason to have him go into assistant living, or go into independent living and hiring someone to overlook his care couple hours a day.