I haven't always been like this at all, so not sure just what is going on with me. I am a super organized person. It's almost like I just shut down in decision making, etc. I have been caretaking now almost 6 yrs. This seems to be happening in other areas of my life as well. When I have things to do, it seems to take an enormous time doing it to the point a neighbor, who used to help out with giving me rides to do errands, finally confronted me about this. I don't think this is burnout.....possibly overload of things on my mind. Feedback anyone?
cadams
It's all brain overload, we now how to remember soooo much more.... their pills and my own pills, when to reorder.... their doctor appointments and my own appointments, one year I went 70 times to medical related appts, no wonder I stopped going to my own..... their groceries, and my groceries, like I love going to the grocery store twice a week, not.... their car inspection and my own car inspection, gasoline, oil changes, etc. [kept their car because Mom couldn't climb up into my vehicle]..... their hair appointments and barber shop appointments, no wonder I grew my hair into a pony tail :P Yada, yada, yada.
Now what? How to pull out of this "funk"? cadams
I will drag my feet big time making doctor appointments for myself, I am a year over due on many... oh well, what will a few more months make :P I dread making telephone calls for repairs to my house, bought new outdoor lighting which is still sitting in their boxes, I have yet to call the electrician. The estimate on remodeling a bathroom was back in 2013, I still haven't scheduled it, in the mean time the water stain on the ceiling keeps getting bigger and bigger.
I am just plain exhausted physically and emotionally due to dealing with two people in their mid-90's who still wanted to live at home, who refused outside help, who stopped driving 6 years ago and guess who's been driving them ever since. I can't keep up two single family homes/yards not at my age. And I still work at my career.
Hey, where's the off switch to my mind so I can finally get some sleep???
Contrary to much popular belief, depression doesn't necessarily get triggered by events. Sometimes, when one becomes depressed, an event that happens by coincidence within the same time frame gets blamed as the trigger.
Yes, be kind to you. Accept the fact that you are grieving what to many folks is an invisible loss. (The next person who tells me I'm so lucky to still have my mom alive is gonna get it!....that's not really my mom anymore, folks. It's a frightened shell). But since this is new, it's a symptom in my book and should be checked out. Stuff like anemia, thyroid problems can cause what I think of as mental fog. A good physician will listen and investigate.
The book "Loving Someone who has Dementia" by therapist Pauline Boss deals with mourning losses before the loved one is gone. She is the person who coined the term "ambiguous loss" when counseling persons with loved ones MIA, and then later persons who lost loved ones on 9/11 and had no body to bury. She sees a real similarity to persons whose loved ones have dementia and are still "with us" and yet "not with us" in another sense.
Being treated for depression might help. But the first step is to be extra kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack. It is OK not to function 100% while we are in mourning. If you need some additional help while you are in this state, I hope you have a few very good friends you can share your needs with.
Stress? Yup.
Preoccupation with things to come? I wouldn't be surprised.
Mourning? I think this kind of distraction is very common during a period of severe loss. (At least it was for me.) And when you are caring for someone with dementia, the losses come before death.
When we are bereaved in the usual sense, other people make allowances for our volatile emotions and easy distractability. No one "confronts" us about being slower or less organized. They empathize, even if they don't know what to say. They bring hot dishes and cakes, thinking we might not be up to ordinary chores and hospitality tasks. They send flowers and card. They call. But when we are suffering from "ambiguous" losses, we are more likely to be left to our own devices. People really don't understand we are in mourning -- and we may not understand it ourselves.
Does that fit, at all?
You might start by going to your doctor for a complete physical and talking about this as a symptom.