Does anyone know of a great chat room where like-minded 40/80-syndromes can chat about their experiences, frustrations, challenges, etc? I'm new to this site and notice it's not exactly what I'm looking for. I'm a 37 single/no children career-minded woman who moved back in with the folks due to the economy and their need for assistance. I've found just how much time it takes away from independence.
Taking care of a parent or loved one who can no longer live by themselves can be a frustrating job. However, we do it out of love because even if they don't remember we do. My father passed away 12/31/2002. It didn't take us long to figure out that there was something wrong with my mom. At first I didn't want to admit or even say the word alzheimers. However, it was soon confirmed that my mother was in the beginning stages of alzheimers. I'll never forget my mother collapsing in my arms and crying not that anything but that. I told her "mom it's going to be a long road, but I'm not going anywhere. I'm here and we'll just take one step at a time together". 2 1/2 years ago, my mother took a 5 hr walk, she could no longer live alone. So, my husband, 2 kids and myself moved in with my mom. We sold our house, gave away our furniture and moved in. We are in the process of buying my mom's house. I have sibblings, but it made sense for me to move in. My mother is now in the final stages of alzheimers. We've seen and been through a lot. Some days are very hard and difficult to deal with, especially if you're not having such a great day. However, my husband and I would not change the decision we made. We would do it all over again. It's a full time job. Taking care of my mom is more difficult than caring for my 8 yr old and 5 yr old. But, she's in her home of 42 years and for the most part knows who I am. It's worth it. For now, it's worth it.
I can't get a regular 9 to 5 job, because I have to care for my mom, so I clean a couple of days a week for an elderly couple. My mother attends an adult day care that has been a breath of life to our family. It gives us all a break. Anyway, if you need to vent or talk . . . we're here. You'll find support here.
There are plenty of 40/80 participants on this site. Many people just read posts & respond only when something resonates with them or they are feeling the need to vent.
I am a single woman who chose to also care for her mom. That seems to be the norm in caregiving. One thing though - what holds us all together on this site is common purpose & caring. Once you become a caregiver for a parent or loved one you have stepped through the Looking Glass and nothing will ever be the same again. You will also find that this site will help you feel sane when the inevidable coflict arises between career and caregiving. Nothing says empathy like having co-workers not understand or care that your burden is twice as heavy as if you had a child.
so welcome - all of the ladies who responded & didn't know what 40/80 is probably just don't know the acronym but do know the drill....child in 40's parent in 80's - -
It's just that once you become a caregiver it doesn't matter what demographic group you belong to - it matters to have others with similar experiences share help and support you.
take care