She is an absolutely wonderful mom. Was and is "the best" That being said, she is 89 years old and has many problems and requires lots of care. I have three siblings close by but none of them ever offer to help or give me a break for a day so that I can kind of rejuvenate. Am I being selfish? It makes me feel bad because I sometimes wish I had a little freedom. I don't regret my decision for even a second but I do feel very selfish because I want to get out once in awhile.
Do not wait for your sibs to volunteer. If you want them to take Mother for a day now and then, bring it up with them and try to work out a specific schedule.
Bring it up. Ask them. Do not expect them to read minds. But also be prepared for them to say, "No." Getting Mom out of the nursing home was your dream. Perhaps it wasn't theirs. Did they promise that they would help when she came home? Did you ask them before you made this huge change how much they were willing to participate? If they had no say in the arrangements they may not feel obligated to make the new situation work.
If one or more of them says yes to your request to provide care for Mom and respite for you, hooray, that is part of the need solved. If what they agree to isn't enough, make other arrangements. Bring in regular outside care. Enroll Mom in a senior day program. Contact your local agency on aging to discover other options.
You are not being selfish. You are being realistic. Figuring out how to get respite should have been part of your plan to bring Mother home, but, alas, few of us understand that when we are making plans. You worked hard to bring her home. This is just one more piece of work you need to do. Arrange for regular respite care, for brief periods throughout the week and for longer periods occasionally. It is all part of seeing that Mother has the best care possible.
Good luck!
Thanks for your help jeannegibbs. Much love coming your way!