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We put my 92 year old father on a low dose of Zoloft (25 mg.) about a week ago, to see if it would help his incredibly mean verbal abuse that seemingly comes out the blue and is always directed at my husband. So far, it seems to be working! He has had anxiety issues for YEARS that never were addressed; OCD issues that were never addressed either so we also have to deal with that.

But I cannot recommend enough that you speak with your elder's internist and ask about prescribing a low dose of antidepressant. The elderly seem to tolerate and metabolize these well and if it makes them a bit more happy and less crabby, combative and verbally abusive....what could be wrong? DO IT!

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Thanks for this! My 83 yr.old father isn't combative necessarily just incredibly stubborn when it come to the care he needs now. He never liked doctors and now he sees one once a week sometimes. I'm going to ask about it with his internist. :)
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Absolutely! It makes them feel better and certainly helps the caregivers. God bless you for taking care of your father.
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No offense victoriak68, but how it was worded is not the point here. kthin3 is trying to offer a suggestion to help other caregivers and I appreciate that. You should to instead of commenting on the "presentation".
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Oh, excuse me for being offended. High handed suggestions are to be embraced here. mommag. I should just bow and be oh so grateful and ignore you snotty Is that it? kthln3 suggests drugs as a means of dealings with our loved ones regardless of whether they need it or believe in it, not to help them but to make our job easier. That's how she comes across. Excuse me for having the balls to point it out. I've been caring for my mom, who has dementia, for nearly 10 years. She's thrown crap at me and once threatened me with a knife. I've not looked into drugging her. She's happy, I've learned to deal with the difficult and I get results WITHOUT drugs.
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I read the same message as you did victoriak68. No where does kthin3 say they gave the father drugs whether he needed it or not. Your comment victoriak68 says more about the person you are than kthin3. kthin3 goes on further to say the father had issues that weren't previously addressed; so now he has meds he obviously needed before. Thank you for sharing kthin3.
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victoriak68, Kthin3 is not directing anything at you or trying to offend you. Kthin3 is sharing what is working in her particular situation with her particular father. I want to believe we who participate in this site are loving concerned family members, friends and caregivers not looking to get reprimanded but exchange advice and support. Thanks for sharing Kthin3, my mother often speaks of wanting to try antideppressants, but hasn't made the leap yet. We're working through the mental blocks and the stigma she thinks they have.
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The days of "One Flew Over the Coocoos Nest" are gone where people with mental health issues where people were overmedicated and turned into zombies. I think many people still associate anti-depressants and other meds for mental health issues with giving up and just drugging people. Personally, anti-depressants and actually low dose anti-psychotic meds turned my mother's life around. She resisted for years, but long story short, she became much happier and content after taking them.

Everyone has a different opinion on these meds and every person reacts differently to them. I vote in favor of any kind of medication that can calm a person down; especially when they are elderly and the brain chemistry is changing. Blessings to all.
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We recently had to place my mom into an assisted living facilty for Alzheimers. The first month was rough as unfortunately the demons that bothered her at home followed her to ALF. She was unhappy, combative, afraid and sometimes downright mean. The nurses suggested and we spoke with mom's doctor and a small dosage of anti-anxiety meds were started. A dose in the morning and a dose at night. The change is remarkable, she is calmer and in a much better positive mood. She's eating well and acclimating to her surroundings. We still have some sleep issues to work through but on the whole things are much better.
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Mommag I have alot of respect for you and many of the others but I have to agree with victoria68. The FDA and AMA says that our children and senior citizens are being abused and turned into zombies to make the job of caregiving & teaching easier. There is OCD and ADD and then there are kids who march to the beat of a different drummer. Many of the founding fathers of this country and heros like Audie Murphy would probably have been drugged had they been born in our time. While a 92 year old isn't going to be the next defender of the Alamo why do we turn more and more to drugs to reach our young an old? This nation is over- medicated and pre-occupied with health and beauty and we want to sweep away the natural Special gifted with drugs to make them behave as one. Anti-depressants are abused and have terrible side effects in the young and old. We should never drug someone just to make our jobs easier. It is wrong. As wrong as shock treatments were and are. As wrong as lobotomizing was just a few years ago. As wrong as restraints. I mentioned Melatonin at least 3 times on this forum and not once did anyone give me feed back. Melatonin is produced in our liver. Babies are born with a great deal of it and is why they sleep so much. As we get older we slowly lose the ability to produce it naturally. To counter this 30 minutes in the sunlight every day can and usually does have a calming effect on seniors. Natural herbs and foods also play a role. Yes, there are some who have to be put on anti-depressants but 9 out of 10 are non-responsive and the doctor wil prescribe a different kind or combinations of drugs until they turn our loved ones into dependent zombies. Thank you but I'd rather see my child climb a tree than sit in a corner staring into space. Generally there is a reason why someone is depressed. Food, noticing they are at the end of their lives and boredom are generally the reasons seniors are depressed-not to mention being treated like children. Not being included in family discussion or even their own treatment. I took my dad to a Nursing home and the first thing they did was drug him. They wanted him to sit and be like everyone else. He isn't and wasn't. He was a mans man-a war hero-a humanitarian and in less than two weeks he had black eye and two torn rotator cuffs(spelling). I was fortunate to have enough money to get him to a doctor wqho was against anti-depressants and it was money he earned. Money I could have kept for my family but he was my family as much as my children so I explored every option and with diet, a regimen of sunlight and love he came out of his depression. Just because someone is 92 doesn't mean they cannot keep their identity-what is left of it may amaze you as it did his doctors. Had I left him in that horrible funeral parlor home the last couple of years of his life for him at least would have been a living hell. Thank you Victori68-I have great admiration for mommag but the senile can be reached with love and patience-drugs take that away from all of us in most cases. gailbrowder is right kthin3 was just telling us what worked for her situation. No one is right or wrong-we are all just searching and offering our experiences. Hugs to all, Ruth
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Although my husband is only 70 and so far we have not had any big problems, his Neurologist, as part of his daily meds, put him on a low dose antidepressant. I would hate to think how he would be WITHOUT this medication, he's not a zombie, he's him, so far, although he has balance and memory problems. So far I can handle it. People shouldn't be so tough on caregivers in these situations. You need to do what is also best for you, as well as the patient.
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Natural remadies like Melatonin are great if they work. They did nothing to help my mom's anxiety and sleeplessness. I don't believe in drugging someone into a stupor, but if the small dose of meds mom takes helps her be calm and have a pleasant day without the fears and hallucinations then I am totally on board. It's about her quality of life, Paula394 is right caregivers need to do what is best for their loved ones. Personally I am becoming disappointed in some of the comments on several of the discussions. Attacking people seems to be en vogue, to me that's like kicking an injured animal.
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I can't agree. It is never a consideration of what is best for the "hired"caregiver. It is all about the patient. What is best for the patient. A caregiver should report any problems to the agency and the agency will send a trained nurse to investigate and make recommendatins to the family member. I cannot concieve of a care giver telling me my loved one needs to be on anti-depressants. If you Paula394 are your husbands caregiver that is different. Neurologists are Psychiatrists with further education and if they feel low dose anti-depressants are needed low dose is proper protocall-sounds like you have a good one. I am referring to care givers who want the patient docile. That is not therapeutic.
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I agree with Paula, each situation is different - my husband was misdiagnosed with Alzheimer's - put on Aricept (now there's one in our case I would have banned). It was like an LSD trip. Stopping it brought him back. He actually has PTSD and the Zoloft has helped. Tried stopping it, but PTSD became worse - sometimes consideration is not only what's best, but what is the lesser of two evils.
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After my father died two years ago, I talked my mother into going on Zoloft. She was always a nervous Nelly anyway and this has made a world of difference :)
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I agree totally with you about anti-depressants. My mother has dementia - about 6th stage. And since she is in constant fear of "what is happening" parnoid, confused thus she's extremely agitated and crying and very very unhappy especially when she wants to see her Mommy.

the nursing home recently called me and stated they were going to give her a mild antidepressant and I agreed. There are many other patients in that hospital as well as staff changes every 8 hours - I THINK IT'S FINE that Mom will be more satisfied and staff won't "steer away from her "oh my god help me" Everybody hates me - nobody wants me - where am I - I want my Mommy and the crying. I've observed staff doing their best to not interact anymore than necessary with people who are combative or obsessive about wanting their Mommy while crying.

It will be such a blessing to me and Mommy when she has forgotten her siblings and parents AND HER CHILDREN - she is miserable with all the memories going back and forth in her mind and when she worries about one of her loved ones or happens to "remember" one has passed, she's as hurt as if it is happening 'NOW" - WHY would I want her that miserable?

So everybody handles things differently. I've talked to people who cared for loved ones with this disease who were humble and loving and nice - what a miracle they have to deal with them in such a nice way and won't have to revert to a nursing home. I stayed with Mom 15 months with only my son to give me reprieves - SO IT is my decision and mine alone that matters especially when My daddy told her 35 years ago to make sure I was in charge "in case??? - And she agreed - though she hates a nursing home when she knows she is there - s he was HAPPY when she knew I was going to take care of her the best I could in her old age. Oh yes, she also broke her hip while at home - had an anuerysm almost bust and we got surgery just in time - I stood by her through all that and was happy to. It's the way she is now - so miserable and ALSO will not allow me to wash her or her hair as she's obsessive about any water touching her - nothing else I could do and I am HAPPY very HAPPY that she may fill better when I see her soon.
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I'm sorry but someone who throws things and pulls a knife is NOT HAPPY!
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well Denise that kind of behavior certainly is in need of swift intervention. I posted before that water can hurt the elderly-my dad could not tolerate anything with chlorine and he would fight-others have noticed the same phenomena-
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Obviously everyone here will have a different opinion of what is right and what is wrong treatment. For myself, I want to do what is best for my mom, I took care of her for over a year and it became apparent that as much as I love her, it was in her best interests to be somewhere with 24 hour care. The staff at her ALF is wonderful, they never push treatments or meds. Placing mom on low doses of anxiety meds has help her relax and enjoy her life more. You do what you feel will help your loved one the most. If someone wants to pontificate and tell me I am wrong that's fine, but I will still do what I feel is best.
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Antidepressants can be a BLESSING in the elderly with dementia. (And for persons of any age with clinical depression.)
Anti-anxiety meds can be a BLESSING in the elderly with dementia.
Antidepressants can be a CURSE in the elderly with dementia.
Anti-anxiety meds can be a CURSE in the elderly with dementia.

When it comes to mind drugs, one size does not fit all. Having a doctor who knows the literature and who knows the patient and who is committed to monitoring results carefully is absolutely essential.

Anitdepressants can only be had with a prescription. You hair stylist or your hired caregiver or a buddy on this site or even your pharmacist cannot prescribe this drug for your loved one. Any of these people can share their personal experiences and opinions. It is at least as useful to hear these people as it is to listen to drug commercials. But only a doctor can prescribe. (Unfortunately there are not enough doctors to are well versed in dementia to go around, but that is another issue.)

To refuse to consider antidepressants for a particular person because they are over-prescribed is as irrational as insisting on antidepressants for a particular person because "everybody is doing it." The need for/value of any drug for a given individual has to be evaluated for that particular individual, by a health care professional qualified to do the evaluation.

I find it interesting and sometimes helpful to hear other people's experiences with various drugs. I rely on our doctors for specific advice for our situation..
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Wow some of you sound nasty.Or thats how you come across. We are all the same, but we are not all the same. And everyone handles things differently. No reason to attack anyone.
My husband was not eating. I asked for a medicine, he was on something after his cancer surgery. The prescription was for a depression medicine. What? Well, a side effect was an increase in appetite. It has helped my husband so much. Appetite is up, gained a few pounds, he does a few more things around the house. It has really helped him. He is a little more "here" than he was before. As I said, people are different. Caregivers are different. We must do what WE feel is best for someone who cannot speak for themselves.
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My mothers Geriatric Nero Psychiatrist paced her on a low does this past week. We are all AMAZED at how well she is tolerating it with her other medications. He also increased her aricept and risperdrone as well........I wish that we had found this wonderful doctor a year ago. It would have saved Mom and all of us so much stress and tension.thanks for sharing your good news with everyone!
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meatieanne-I didn't think anyone was being nasty. Did you get your hug? It is a fact that children and the elderly are being prescribed antidepressants based on what their spouse or caregiver is telling them. Television ads contribute to more deaths and serious side effects in this country 2 to 1 in other countries. Big Pharma bombards us with their ads ad nauseam day and night. Currently the FDA is releasing information that the majority of anti-depressants are potentially a health risk to everyone and especially in the elderly because the livers in the elderly cannot metabolize these drugs as well and often the drugs they are prescribed by one doctor isn't shared with the other specialists and often the pharmacies are catching life threatening mixtures of drugs that do not or cannot be taken with another prescribed by someone else. All drugs over the counter or prescribed can and do have side effects. Grapefruit cannot be taken with betapace for example. Betapace cannot be taken with tums, for example. Many patients are prescribed Betapace and to save money they take the generic versin called Sotalol-well, Sotalol is different from Betapace and can actually cause Ventricle tachycardia in patients prescribed Betapace for heart arrhythmia including atrial and ventrical tachycardia. This has just been found out and many cardiologists still do not know it. You know when you are sitting in the waiting room and you see the man or woman come in wearing a nice suit or dress and pulling a briefcase? Those are Pharmaceutical reps. They bring doctors there latest drugs, often give doctors tickets to ball games or even take them out to dinner to get the doctors to try their latest drug. Some doctors are paid. Then the doctor gives them to you to try for a month "free." You come back a month later and tell the doctor how the drug worked and he sends that information to the drug company. Some of us don't know we are being guinea pigged. But we are. Often your pulmonologist doesn't know what your heart doctor is prescribing and vice versa. Yes, some anti-depressants have good side effects and some have bad side effects but all have side effects. Some may make you sleepy some may may make you wide awake. Some may make you hungry some may make you thirsty and some may kill your appetite while others make you hungry. So the overweight person who is depressed because he or she is overweight is given a pill for depression that increases their appetite. We are a Pill popping society and thats a fact. All of my grandparents lived to be in their 90s and no one had so called dementia that I know of. We all forget things from time to time. I think I was born with alzheimers. I can remember my mother saying if your head wasn't glued on to your shoulders you'd for get it...
People spend a fortune on the drug Aricept and the prescribing doctor will tell you it may at best slow alzheimers by a year or two. Alzheimers is shrinking of the brain-not dementia-dementia is a bi-word for a symptom of senility-Senility is often a symptom of old age. Old age is a fact of life and usually is non-responsive to anti-depressants. Want to make grandpa feel better? Give him a Hot toddy. Oh No-he doesn't drink! No-he doesn't-he pops pills though. Thats okay though because a doctor prescribed it. If someone is throwing knives or people around they need a sedative-maybe they are mad-at you! Maybe they are depressed because they are bored. Maybe they are obese because they are being served the wrong foods. Exercise and sunlight, and a hobby are great stress relievers and sleep inducers. I'll say it again. Aged people do not produce enough Melatonin in their bodies to let them sleep well-30 minutes of sunlight is better than 1 pill of ambien in most patients. I read to my dad every night and I read to my children now and they read to me. I do not agree with you meatieanne-we should not do what we feel best for someone who cannot speak for themselves. We take someone who cannot speak for themselves to a Geriatric doctor and be honest with our report. He can't speak? So you tell the doctor what? That he cannot speak? I'm sorry. Did he lose his voice because of cancer? Depression is a common side effect of chemo therapy that passes within a few weeks or months. Some anti-depressants cannot be stopped once they are started. Some anti-depressants will need to be increased over time and often when the medications are increased the libido goes. Then overweight sets in and more medication is required to control that problem. Then brain fog sets in and medication is required to treat treat symptom. Is it any wonder why there is a pharmacy on every corner and you usually have to stand in line? What did people use to do when they were anxious or nervous? Take a drink or smoke a cigarette or both. Right? Well now that is bad so take a pill instead. The other day I caught myself putting a box oc cereal in the refrigerator-the first thing I thought was: Oh my, I may be getting Alzheimers -I misspell that word everytime-I used to know how to spell it-could I be getting senile? I bet if I go to my doctor he will prescribe me something for it-probably an anti anxiety pill. I feel downright cheated if i go to a doctor and he says I'm perfectly fine! After all what does he think? That it's all in my head?
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Apparently you didnt see the comment, letters I did. Something about having balls to point out something or other, and people being drugged. I also said that it sounded nasty to ME. My husband cannot speak due to Alzheimers, not cancer, so his brain is not working like it use to. He cant make decisions for himself, I must make them. The medicine helped his appetite. I dont care if you agree with me or not. I dont know you and dont care to know you. I thought Aging Care was for people who have questions, suggestions. And then we could reply, suggest something, or say what works for us ...not attack some of those commenting. Didnt know it was to tell others how "wrong" they are. And I dont understand your hug comment in the beginning. I said what works in MY house and that is all that is important. I think your comment that we all forget things and you think you were born with Alzheimers is flippant. Same thing the doctor said for 10 months before she decided to check out my husband to see what was wrong.
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I am very sorry-you are so angry with me(us) no one is attacking you and that was rude. We can discuss without attacking and calling one another names. I reads the post about balls and thought is was over the top and even said so. I am sorry I hurt your feelings but you started attacking. I sent you a hug because I thought you might accept one but it is okay that you didn't accept it. Everyone on this forum is kind and civil until now. I find anti-depressants are a last resort medication and there are so many alternatives to try but that is only my opinion-I am certainly not a doctor but if I were maybe I would find something to calm you down
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Final comment. YOU Sir or Ma'am are a pompous ass. I attacked no one. I dont accept hugs, kisses, whatever from people I do not know...on here or in real life. I do not need calming down. You need a few lessons in being polite. Especially to older people, caregivers, and people who are not as perfect as you. I wish you well, and I wish you health.
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There are a lot of misconceptions about antidepressants. I'd like to share my experience. I have experienced depression three times in my life -- twice post partum and also at the onset of menopause. The worst symptom for me was feeling "not like me" -- like some imposter had invaded my body. I didn't want a "happy pill" -- I wanted something that would make me feel more like myself. This last time I tried to talk my doctor into referring me to a therapist instead of getting a drug. She said I had the healing pieces in the wrong order, that I should address the chemical imbalance first and I would then be more recpetive to talk therapy. But I insisted on talk therapy. After a few weeks the therapist said, "You are handling a difficult situation successfully. You don't need me. You need to go back to the doctor and get on an antidepressant." And that did indeed work. I returned to feeling like me!

Twenty years ago my husband fell from a ladder onto a concrete floor, suffering severe head injury. After several weeks of hospitalization be began to recover and he eventually was "well" in all respects, except he was lethargic and didn't seem to have any enthusiasm or emotional energy. About a year after the fall the psychiatrist who'd seem him for several years for a sleep disorder explained how the injury could be causing an imbalance and he prescribed an antidepressant. Wow! That little pill once a day gave me back my husband!

An antidepressant in the right dose does NOT turn you into a zombie. Quite the contrary, it can give you back the enthusiasm that had gone out of your life. It doesn't make you unnaturally happy or docile -- it returns you to your own personality, with whatever degree of happiness or grumpiness that entails.

I would prefer not to need any drugs for any reason. But when I have a problem that can be addressed with drugs and nothing else seems to work I am very grateful they are available.
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There is a lot of jumping to conclusions here. Meno, the original comment from Victoria68 and my response to her comment were removed so it is hard to explain the context of the remaining comments (does that make sense?). I did not agree or disagree with the topi
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It is so sad that it has escalated to this-I do not know how to report but I can ignore. I wish I could say something -I tried to give her a hug from the beginning but I feel her pain and maybe a doctor can be of help because she is definitely suffering.
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Hi kthin3, my Mom suffered from anxiety many years before her dementia set in. We finally convinced her to try her antidepressant which was prescribed for her, and she was like a new woman. She said she wished so much that they had these pills out before when she as younger and suffered a lot. She called it her happy pill, not that it made her abnormal, it made her feel good, normal again, and she felt good right away when it can take 6 weeks for the full effects. She is still on it and we know it as her life saver. Thank you for the suggestion and I hope it helps some other parents or people who are living with such anger, depression, and anxiety.
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menohardy, "Some anti-depressants cannot be stopped once they are started." Could you name 2, please? And what do you mean "cannot be stopped"? Must be tapered off? Result in some withdrawal symptoms? Result in death? Could you point us to where we could look this up? Because, wow, that is a pretty strong statement. I'd like to know more about it.
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