Being responsible for every financial form, Dr.s appts, setting up care, feeling guilty when LTC insurance pays caregivers late, feeling guilty that medicaid waiver got so delayed, even though it was the doctor & lawyer’s fault. I see no end to fighting the insurance, the assistance office, etc. I can’t take it anymore & see no out but suicide.
How would you council me if I had written your post?
Obviously, you are stressed to the max to mention suicide. Wouldn't you tell me that I was taking on too much? That I should "let go" of what I could, to be able to relax and breathe? That if I'm considering ending my life BECAUSE I'm doing too much for my mom, then I shouldn't be doing that much?
Wouldn't you say that I should let 3 shifts of fresh, well rested trained professionals do my job of caregiving now because I'm stressed enough to do irrational things?
Wouldn't you tell me to think of what my actions would entail-how would my mother feel if I killed myself and she felt it was HER fault?
You need to ;
1. Lighten the load you are carrying any way you can and do it NOW. Just stop the calls and paperwork if you have to.
2. 'Consider' the possibility that she may HAVE to go into a facility and that she won't hate you for it. She would be happier having a daughter visit her in a place she'd rather not be in, than to not HAVE a daughter at all.
3. You need to make a call to a suicide prevention line if you are contemplating that as your only way out. Number is above.
4. You need to call for ongoing therapy. They are familiar with the huge burdens that we carry and you can "unload" your feelings with an impartial therapist.
5. Unfortunately, we have to prepare for the eventual decline of our parents. That will be best done when you have eliminated as much stress as you can and just be her daughter.
May God help you on this difficult journey. (((hugs))))
Can you tell us a little more about your mum and her health issues and also about your relationship with her? I have been in situations where I could not see a light at the end of the tunnel. It is scary.
Do you have a support system where you are - friends and/or family?
Thanks for your support.
I still don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Caregiving is a long difficult road, and we're happy you have found the support of others here on this site.
However, there are limits to what untrained members on our site can provide for you.
Please reach out to experts for additional support and the help you need 24 hours a day at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
Call 1-800-273-8255
Is your mom is crisis? Is she in a safe place? How about you?
Tell us what is going on.
Can you call the national suicide hotline? Be back in a sec with number.