I'm dealing with guilt and the feeling that I need to with him constantly. It's draining my energy and occupying my thoughts to the exclusion of everything else. I'm feeling a huge need for some balance in my life and his constant desire for me to visit is causing me to feel burnt out. It is extremely overwhelming especially since I am the type of person needs my time alone.
You will find your rythme.
The piece of advice that I can offer, in addition to the others' comments, is that yes, assisted living facilities' main priority is the patient/resident. However, a secondary endeavor/benefit is to give at-home caregivers or family, a break as well. I had a nurse tell me, while visiting my mother, "We are watching over her. You and family caregivers need breaks too. You will be better for her and when you are with her, if you get away from the stresses and worries occasionally to rejuvenate physically and mentally."
Looking back on it, I agree and should have put "getting away" in our schedule more often. One can get so worn down both physically and mentally that it can effect decisions and judgement calls concerning the loved one getting care.
I won't elaborate here, but I think being exhausted contributed immensely to decisions (bad/wrong decisions IMO) that were made concerning my mother's care and led to her subsequent death. (I think my father was so tired and frustrated, yearning for how his life used to be, that he had had enough of the rehab center and made decisions that were best for him, not her.)
So, now, looking back, I understand what the nurse meant. You will be better for your father if you get away occasionally. To soften the separation with your father
perhaps start with a getaway 1 day a week, then progress to twice a week. Perhaps eventually get away every other day. You both need it.
I wish you and your father...peace.