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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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As I paged through hundreds of discussions on the caregiver burnout forum, it has come to me that maybe a lot of these problems could be headed off with an agreement with the siblings before the one person took in the parent as to how and who is going to handle the roles and responsibilities of the aging parent.
These things are usually not discussed in detail at the time and later when the caregiver starts to go through burn out the other siblings seem to be MIA. Now I know people can go back on your word but it seems to me people will more likely be willing to all pitch in if there is an understanding at the time. This is done in the business world all the time as an excepted practice.
In our situation we did not do this We have had MIL for 14 years. There was not much involvement in the beginning with the other sisters and just did not think too much about it and always thought when she needed more care, they would be there. Boy were we wrong. One sister lives 20 min the othe 40 min. So no travel hardships. They are too busy with their children ages 27-33 and other one has one has grandchildren, ages 8-13. Her 87th birthday was last Friday. They did call and wish her a happy birthday.......but that was it.....no I would like to see you, take you out to lunch, or for weekend. The youngest daughter has not seen her mother since Dec of 2015 for 2 days and before that it was a year. She said she is comfortable with her and her mother's relationship. The other one takes her to the hairdresser once a month, which mother-in-law has guilted into doing.
When I ask for help, I get "well you took her" or "no, I cannot see where you need help, it's not like she is not in diapers".
So maybe if we had an agreement and they were used to taking her, then we would not be in this boat!
My husband will send a letter, one last ditch effort, and we are also looking at assisted living and respite arrangements. I am sure many other people are going through same thing.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
These things are usually not discussed in detail at the time and later when the caregiver starts to go through burn out the other siblings seem to be MIA. Now I know people can go back on your word but it seems to me people will more likely be willing to all pitch in if there is an understanding at the time. This is done in the business world all the time as an excepted practice.
In our situation we did not do this We have had MIL for 14 years. There was not much involvement in the beginning with the other sisters and just did not think too much about it and always thought when she needed more care, they would be there. Boy were we wrong. One sister lives 20 min the othe 40 min. So no travel hardships. They are too busy with their children ages 27-33 and other one has one has grandchildren, ages 8-13. Her 87th birthday was last Friday. They did call and wish her a happy birthday.......but that was it.....no I would like to see you, take you out to lunch, or for weekend. The youngest daughter has not seen her mother since Dec of 2015 for 2 days and before that it was a year. She said she is comfortable with her and her mother's relationship. The other one takes her to the hairdresser once a month, which mother-in-law has guilted into doing.
When I ask for help, I get "well you took her" or "no, I cannot see where you need help, it's not like she is not in diapers".
So maybe if we had an agreement and they were used to taking her, then we would not be in this boat!
My husband will send a letter, one last ditch effort, and we are also looking at assisted living and respite arrangements. I am sure many other people are going through same thing.