My mom passed away two years ago and we took my father in. He is 84 ,alert and still drives. Minor health problems but is still able to care for himself. Mostly we took him in because it would save us time from driving to his house to clean, cook and do wash. My mom did everything, he never cooked a meal, did wash or anything like that. He admits that he is lazy. He has worn out his welcome here and we are all resenting him for being so entitled and selfish. He gives me a hundred dollars a month and thinks that is enough. He has the money to go to assisted living but in his mind it's a nursing home and he won't even go to tour the place. His bedroom is a mess and he leaves a trail of junk wherever he goes, newspapers, coffee cups, his teeth on the table, underwear on my bathroom floor. He finally admitted it wasn't working out because we now fight all the time. He might move in with his sister who is a widow. I am so happy but I have guilt!!! The poor woman has no idea what she's in for and I don't want to tell her. I secretly can't wait til he is out the door! My mom was ill two years before she died and I cooked all their meals the whole time. I am tired. My brother helps a little but I always have to ask. He takes him when I ask but never offers. I know I will have second thoughts and guilt when he leaves...if he leaves, but I really want him out. Thanks for listening.
And help cleaning the house? Forget about it! It ain't gonna happen. So I have a choice -- let the house be filthy or clean and feel angry about it. I've learned to lower my standards, but there is only a certain amount of dirty I can stand.
Enjoy your break from your father. I wouldn't be surprised is Sis asks you to take him back after a while. Maybe the two of you can share the aggravation of being unpaid maids.
Now im not saying its the same for everyone BUT if these dads AND the majority were "looked after by wifey all thier lives" NH is great beats living alone at home trying to open a can!
Just interesting of course the MEN who have had thier wife or daughters to it all for them suddenly find themselves in a NH "LOVE IT"??
SOOO tonight we sit down to dinner and hubs picks up the pepper shaker to use and nothing comes out. FIL says "Oh that has been empty for a few days" M says," well why didn't you fill it or at least tell us?" FIL says, "It's NOT MY job!" I kid you not!