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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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I have 5 other sibblings. No one will help only complain about everything. Mom is in a nursing care center, but i feel like I have to see her every day. because the others will not go see her. I am very depressed.
You don't have to go every day, for your own sanity as well as to "not be taken advantage of." If you go every day and your siblings know it, not one will step up. You must force yourself to stay away. Does your Mother have dementia? If so, she will not count the minutes. Her sense of time is not there, while yours is hyper-aware. You cannot change your siblings, but you can measure and control yourself so that you do not become obsessed with your "duty." Perhaps at least one more of your Mother's children will sense the need to share this responsibility with you. Start thinking that way; expect it and be positive. Live your life and see your Mom a couple times a week--that's all. I wish you the best.
Look in the mirror. That's the only person whose behavior you can control. If you don't want to go everyday, don't go everyday. If you are going even when you don't want to, then resentment seems out of place. It is your decision.
Whose rule is it that Mother should be visited by one of her children everyday? Did you make that up? Did your 5 siblings get a vote? How did you get to be in charge of making up the rules? (It is a good rule, I think, but that isn't my point. It is not a universal rule.) You can decide how often to visit your mother. You can't decide how often your sisters/brothers must visit your mother. I assume that you are all grown up and can make your own decisions.
Either do it because you want to, or don't do it. Doing it and resenting doing it doesn't make any sense to me.
Do yourself a favor and forget what your sibs are or aren't doing. You can't make them do stuff nor should you. They're adults, maybe not acting as such, but adults nonetheless. Oh I know what it's like to have absolutely no help from my sib and if I could go back in time, I'd save myself from years of resentment and anger. It only hurt me, she was perfectly fine with staying away from mom. Also, saying she will reap what she sows...well, that's not my call either. Go see your mother when you can handle it, period. Not every day, it's upsetting you too much. Go when you can have a good visit. You're heart and mind will be a lot happier.
Taken, good answers by everyone. Don't make yourself crazy trying to visit mom everyday. It won't do either of you any good if you resent "having" to do it. As for your sibs, I have learned not to expect anything from the 6 I have! It's not worth stressing yourself over what they do or don't do. Save yourself the trouble and let your issues with them go! It will be tough enough dealing with your own problems.
Thank you so much every one. Your advice is good, and I needed to hear it from those who have been there. I think I get so involved I just can't see clearly. If I want to leave inside of an hour or two, mom begs me to stay (yes actually begs)and I end up feeling like a piece of crap. I know I'm being manipulated, but don't know how to handle it.I do have some siblings call me if I don't go over everyday. I will just have to as you say (deefer12) deal with them. She does not have dememtia? At least not diagnosed. I do her laundry. The nursing center where she lives has lost so many of her clothes that I finally took her laundry home and did it myself. It is alot cheeper that way. I shop for her. Pay her bills. And anything else that is needed. I took care of her in my home until I was no longer able. I enjoy reading this site. So much of it rings true. Thank you everyone.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Perhaps at least one more of your Mother's children will sense the need to share this responsibility with you. Start thinking that way; expect it and be positive. Live your life and see your Mom a couple times a week--that's all. I wish you the best.
Whose rule is it that Mother should be visited by one of her children everyday? Did you make that up? Did your 5 siblings get a vote? How did you get to be in charge of making up the rules? (It is a good rule, I think, but that isn't my point. It is not a universal rule.) You can decide how often to visit your mother. You can't decide how often your sisters/brothers must visit your mother. I assume that you are all grown up and can make your own decisions.
Either do it because you want to, or don't do it. Doing it and resenting doing it doesn't make any sense to me.
able. I enjoy reading this site. So much of it rings true. Thank you everyone.