I am the sole caregiver for my 84 yo mother with Dimentia and severe Arthritis....In September it will be 8 ys I am doing this ALONE. I have no family that is willing or able to help..In that spirit I moved to another state with her were the home costs were much lower...this has backfired on my cuz I have left my support group behind and basically am so burnt out now I dont even know how to make new friends anymore....Adult diaper issues dont make for good conversation I guess....To get out with mom and do things has become increasing diffucult and I am just plain tired and need a day off....Over these 8 years I have only had maybe 3 or 4 weekends off and it has been at least 3 years since the last one....We cannot afford to pay a for the respite care I so desperately need...that is not covered by healthcare. I am afraid I am at a breaking point and have noticed I am not caring for her properly...just the little things, but that guilt is compounded my burnout.... I am so frustrated that there is no help for me, because if it wasn't for me the state would be completely & financially responsible for her the last 8 yrs... that is way more expensive than an occasional break for me...all i get is someone 3 hrs a week...can't do much in 3 hours..and actually usually dont go anywhere then cause I enjoy the company if it wasnt for her I would have no one to talk to, stuck up here in the house 24/7!!...I don't know what to do....I am so tired of it rite now!!!! Thanks for letting me vent!!!
What program provides the 3 hours a week you are getting? Is your mother on Medicaid/Elderly Waiver? Tell us the details (if you want to) and maybe we can brainstorm some improvements for you.
But Social(senior) Services got me the 3 hrs a week respite, but they sed that is all they can offer me! I can hire respite care privately but it is very costly, out of our budget! We don't have enough room for a live in...I did have a temp in a trailer outside house for a couple months. Just helpin each other in a bind. That worked out ok for running errands and I got one weekend off!! The next time a group of friends all going outta town with concert tix, I was all ready to go n she had to leave town cxld day b4, So I was left to stay home alone!!!!. Also came to find out, livin so close quarters, she drank all day! So that was the end of that!!! It is so hard to find good peeps....even the 3 hr respite worker has to be directed n supervised or she would be on her cell or texting 1/2 time. I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE, CANT EVEN FIND GOOD PEOPLE. As i sed my town is small and area in general is problematic, behind the times, and lots of drug n alcohol use!
Eight years is a very long time to be tied to this kind of situation. Have you considered placement in a care center? You could still spend hours a day with Mom and continue to offer her love and support and advocate for her, but you'd also be able to take time off on your own schedule.