I live in a 55+ community, a few blocks away from my parents. I am a single woman, soon to be 60, whose only life these days seems to be at the beck and call of my 85 year old parents. I get called every day about something and one time recently they showed up at my door at 8:30 pm because I didn't answer my phone. I am worn out, I am starting to resent this life, and I need to be able to work on my own life.
A few minutes ago my father called and demanded that I come over tomorrow to help him hang pictures on the wall so they would look nice for a visit by some friends. He told me that it should be in the morning...not even asking me if I had something else to do.
I am at the end of my rope...I managed to get them to allow a caregiver three days a week who is great and will do anything for them but they still are constantly checking up on me, begging me to visit every day, calling all the time and basically interfering with the life I am trying to build for myself.
I am becoming depressed, not sleeping, bad nutrition, crying, feeling helpless, and alone. I have few friends and my children are so busy they have little time for me.
I am at the place I just want to run away and become someone else.
I will definitely take all you kind people's advice and begin to set my boundaries with them...in fact, this morning I have been summoned and I will go but we will have "the conversation" in a respectful and caring way.
Thank you all so much. This is my first posting on a support site and I was a bit worried about the response but I am so pleased and it is so wonderful knowing there are people out there, strangers, who care about helping those who are struggling with issues.
You need to start working on that life you want to build for yourself. Yes, continue to have contact with your parents, and to provide reasonable help -- but do it on your terms.