have asked one time from her son if sometimes could he help me out with cash sometimes i may need something like clothes or go to the doctor i cannot leave my nanny to work he said he would send a hundred dollars which would of helped me but he started talking like he knew I had a life and nursing homes I lied and told him something worked out and he didn't have to send a check i am taking cARE OF HER AND WOULDN'T HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY I FELT A LITTLE DEFENSIVE EVERYONE LIVES ELSEWHERE AND I NEVER COMPLAIN OR ASK ANYONE FOR HELP WHY COULDN'T HE JUST SAY SURE AND BE GLAD SOMEONE TAKES GOOD CARE OF HER AND LOVES HER IT HURT ME BECAUSE EVERYONE HAS JOBS AND DOESN'T WORRY ABOUT CAN THEY AFFFORD NECESSITIES AND NEVER EVEN THINK ABOUT DO I NEED SOMETHING ME AND NANNY LIVES ON A TIGHT BUDGET HOW DOES OTHER PEOPLE HANDLE THIS AND HAS NO MONEY FOR SIMPLE THINGS THAT MOST PEOPLE TAKE FOR GRANTED. I AM HERE BECAUSE I WANT TO BE BUT I WISH IT WAS A GROUP EFFORT WHERE EVERYONE COULD HELP IN THEIR OWN WAY
I know you would like to keep your grandmother at home if possible. I would talk to the rest of the family about doing that and get their input. You can figure out together what each is willing to do. I don't know your grandmother's condition, so don't know if a nursing facility may actually be better. I do know that you can't afford to live without any money, so you need to get some for yourself from somewhere. Sadly enough, people often take advantage of those who are the most vulnerable. We have to give our lowered self esteems a good kick in the butt and look out for ourselves.
I understand what you mean about family members having a lot and not thinking about others. I have one brother who is fairly wealthy -- contribution to the family: one visit a year, with minimal time spent with mother. Then there is the other brother who lives locally -- contribution to the family: occasional visit, with no conversation at all. His family did buy my mother a plant for Mother's Day. They gave it to me, because they won't be here. (roll eyes)
It is sad that many adult children see their parents as a safety net when they are younger and an inconvenience when they are older.
-well said.
When you call the senior services, and they come out for the interview, you will ask to get paid for care giving. If her only income is SS. and she has no other money, you can get paid. There is nothing wrong with her going to daycare either, gives you a chance, for some time for yourself.
When you do get paid it is a union job, and can go on your resume'.
good luck!
I don't feel that the entire burden should fall on your shoulders. Perhaps tell your uncle that you are going to work as you need to make a living. If he cares for his mom, he's going to have to step up to the plate. I have two siblings, and I do most of the work, so I totally understand your pain. I have learned (as have others on this website) that you have to stand up for yourself! I wish you courage and strength as you go forward!
When it was decided that you would be your grandmother's caregiver did you discuss how you would survive financially? You can't be expected to live on no money coming in.
I think it's great that you stepped in to help your grandma. I know you want to do what's best for her and give her the best care you can but if you have to walk away in order to get a job so you can support yourself then that's what you have to do. Did your family expect you to not work in order to take care of your grandmother?
I'm sorry that you're getting no assistance from your family. If you look around on this site there are a million posts about that very topic so you're not alone. Yes, it should be a group effort but that's not always the case. Is there someone in your family you could go to? Do you live with your grandma? If you live with your grandma is your family expecting you to use your grandmother's finances for your own necessities? Was any of this discussed before you committed to being her caregiver?