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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Breathe! Will there be a hospice nurse at your home, and if so, how often? Is your husband on board with this or is he resisting the change? Do you have a plan in place, especially to have time for yourself, and for you and your husband to be alone each week?
Hospice is usually end of life. They will pop in whenever you need them. They are really good. Meds come in a flash when you need them. I would say gather all your strength from your friends and family. Can you elaborate on her illness?
If you mother is experiencing an end of life illness (which is usually the basis for hospice), then I think that you should focus your time and energy on her. Your husband should be understanding of this and when it's all said and done, you will have no regrets. While hospice nurses and aides will come in several times a week, the visits are brief. Most hospice agencies have volunteers who will come in and sit with a patient for a few hours to provide the family member a break. Be upfront and honest with your hospice nurse and let them help you through this. They will be wonderful and you will be blessed to have cared for your mother.
Make some plans ahead of time that you both agree on so that each of you can get some away time both individually and as a couple that's not going to work or going shopping unless retail therapy is really your thing. To accomplish this, you will need some help from a licensed agency who can provide people to be there while ya'll get your down time.
Thanks for the support, my husband loves my mom like his own so he is very supportive. I have been caring for my mom for several months in her home, but I think all in all it will be much easier to care for her in my home without having to run back and forth. Its just difficult in a reverse roll, my mom is stubborn and she can still press my insecurity buttons. But its okay I have much patience and actually it will be a privilege just scary for me.
Just remember to practice the boundary of being your mother's adult child and not your mother's little girl for what she needs right now stubborn or not as well as what you yourself and your husband needs now as well as for the duration of this journey is for you to function in that role reversal of being the adult daughter. I would suggest therapy for those still pushable insecurity buttons which are probably marked with the brail of F.O.G. fear, obligation and guilt. Her ability to press those buttons will be easier and with more intensity right in your own home, so again therapy is strongly suggested. Otherwise your going to end up in an unhealthy triangle of stubborn mom, depleted insecure you and a very angry husband over how his wife's button's are getting pushed. That kind of mom/daughter/SIL dynamic can easily become an emotional triangle where everyone gets hurt. To avoid that, keep your boundaries in place
Since you said "hospice period", I assume that you will be having hospice professionals coming into your home to assist during this end of life time for your mother. If this is the case, then you can rest assured that you, your mother, and your husband will be well taken care of. You can ask them if they can refer a volunteer to your home so that you and your husband can get out of the house for the rest you'll need. I am sorry that you and your mother and family are going through this, but with hospice people at your side, the situation will be handled the best way it can.
You all had such great advice, and it is now one month and thngs are going quite smoothly here in my house. My mom loves being here and I can actually give her all the attention she was craving. She is having more bad days than good, meaning she is sleeping more and her angina is not responding to her meds. She actually stopped "pressing my buttons" as my whole day is centered around her. Because she is sleeping more I am able to breathe and get things done I wasn't able to. I know the worse is yet to come and I can do this.
Moushiel, this is good to hear that things are running smoothly at your home, although it is a very difficult time at the same time because your mother is in the final stage of her life. Hospice workers are a wonderful help, as you are finding out. By bringing in hospice at this stage and not waiting too long, you are doing yourself and your mother a favor.
I am sorry that you are going through this because it is such a challenge, but you are strong and you know are ready to handle it. God bless....
Here's one way to make time for yourself and your husband: When my friend Lori brought her mom into her home during her mom's last weeks, Lori contacted her nearby friends and asked each if they would accept one small aspect of sharing her care. Lori's mom craved sweets, and I became her official candy shopper. I felt good selecting the candy in the store and delivering it to Lori, and helped her save some time to be alone with her husband.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Enjoy and appreciate whatever time she has left to spend with you.
I am sorry that you are going through this because it is such a challenge, but you are strong and you know are ready to handle it. God bless....