Mom is end stage lung cancer that has spread everywhere. Hospice has been called. I stay at moms during the week and travel an hour back to my home to work 3 days then back to moms home. My brother helps when I'm not there. Im under the care for anxiety disorder. Even before this all started. Stressed. Crying nightmares hyperventilating. Tired. I want to give up. I have support. My dad has primary progressive multiple sclerosis so i care for him also.
Are you in therapy for your anxiety? Talk to your counselor about these tough choices.
Mother wants to stay home. (Doesn't everyone want to die in their own home?) To do that she needs someone in the house 24 hours a day. Hospice does not provide that. They can provide their care in a private home or a nursing home or in their own facility, if they have one. In the NH or their facility someone would be monitoring her around the clock. If she is in a private home, that has to be provided privately.
Can mom afford around the clock in-home care for a couple of days a week, reducing your load somewhat? Does she by any chance have a long term care policy? Are there other relatives or close friends that could cover some days? Who takes care of your dad while you are at your mother's? Does he live with her? You need a way to save some fmla days and to reduce your stress level. Knowing that your mother is dying is stressful enough, and you can't do much about that except talk to your therapist. But I sincerely hope you can make arrangements to lessen your load! Talk to the hospice people on Monday for suggestions.
You and your brother are doing heroic work. I know the feelings of anxiety and sadness overshadow every other feeling now, but you also deserve to feel very proud!
Your Mom is leaving you much too early, much too young.
This is tragic for her, and so sad for you too.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers for strength.
Don't give up.
Make yourself as comfortable as possible
A cup of tea, a snack some soothing music a pillow or favorite blanket
Prayers and hugs for you
Does your dad have someone with him? You and he both need time to grieve and to heal.
I hope that work will be a good distraction for you. Sometimes that helps.
You are not alone........prayers for you.
I'm so sorry to hear how you feel. There is a lot on your shoulders. Try to be kind and gentle with yourself. If you are able to, try and reach out. There is help in the community and through church. I hope you can get more supports. Sending you love and hugs.