I've been taking care of my 92 yr old double amputee grandmother for 2 yrs. Between the frequent diaper changes all day and night i get no sleep, then she getsupset bbecause i have no energy for anything. It doesn't help that she's alittle OCD And thinks everythings always dirty. Anyway...somedays I just want to put her in a nursing home and be done with it. I'd get my life back, my relationship wih my husband back , my privacy back ,my ability to go somewhere, I could make what I want for dinner, I could go on for days, but then I feel selfish for thinking of myself. I can't get any help from other family members, but they all depend on me to make sure she has a good quality of life( mine doesn't matter to them) I gave up my life my house and my job 2 yrs ago and i feel like a monster for wanting it all back however.... Thank you for listening to my rant.
Yeah, forgot to mention that we have tried all of the remedies for the shingles pain and no they have not worked. Mom is the type of person that if there can be side effects, she will have them. If there is a 1 percent chance for it to not work, she will be that 1 percent. But I do appreciate your response. Just knowing that someone out there listens makes me fell better.
I have been caregiving for my chronically ill mother (75yrs) for over 20 years now. When I was pregnant, not pregnant, small children, ill myself etc...... It feels like it will never end. Of course, my two siblings have always washed their hands when it comes to her. Or, as my sister has said in the past, "well why shouldn't you take care of her?" Without considering that I haven't taken an outside paying job BECAUSE of my mother! I have soo much resentment towards them. Now she is being diagnosed with dementia on top of ALL of the other medical conditions that she has. It is so hard to not have feelings of anger towards others who won't help or sometimes towards my mother. And I really do love her and try my absolute best for her. So I appreciate you all letting me vent too. I agree averitt69 in that I too have thought of nursing home but my mind and my heart do not agree. She was going to a day care 4 years ago but had to stop because of PHN from Shingles. Yep, she still has the pain now. Plus now her mental state is getting worse so she doesn't want the "noise" that comes with the outside world.
Peace and love to you all. God bless.
If the others who could help with this are sitting around excusing themsleves from helping because they think you "should" put her in a nursing home and give THEM your time and energy, you might want to inform them that a) that is not happening, so suck up and deal with it, and b) when something does happen, which it eventually will, and your caregiving for grandmother is over, you will be taking some time to recover and to care for YOURSELF first and they can go jump in the lake. Just my $0.02.