I have been the sole caregiver to my aging parent, mother age 86, who has been on a very long road to recovery from heart surgery during 2009 and has been living with me and my roommate since October 2011. A few days ago, one of my best friends informed me that her mother has passed away. This was a shock as no one expected this. Her mother was a very active senior until recently but I always thought how lucky my friend is that she can have her own life and visit her mom but not have to be a 24/7 caregiver. Quite honestly, although I do not feel I am a "jealous" person, I envied my friend's independence and her being able to travel and enjoy life. So this has given me a "reality" check. Life is precious and although I get the typical caregiver emotions (depression/anger/resentment) I am trying very hard to deal with those emotions and remain grateful that my mom is doing so much better but will never again be able to live independently. It's very difficult. I work full-time and frankly just want the freedom to take some vacations but this is all finite and will not be my life forever. I am 62 and pretty healthy. My life is ho hum with an aging parent living with me and never what I ever expected. I just hope that I can remember this recent reality check. It will help me to keep things in perspective. I feel so sad for my friend and kind of guilty that I have so wondered how I could be as fortunate as she who seemingly to me has it all (looks/finances/intelligence) etc. Now her mother is being buried this weekend and my mom is downstairs doing very well. Just wanted to share this with the support group and to also thank you all for your posts and for being there.
Often times I am perplexed at the emotions I experience for the loved ones of persons who are not family of origin.
Actually relieved to know that there are concerned family members willing to care for each other both of family here in the state where I live and the state where family of origin reside.
There are times that I misss being there in another state to care for them in person, but then I realize that the budget I am limited to makes it impossible.
What alot of planning it requires to travel to another state. So I keep things in perspective for now. Although I am often faced with mixed emotions.
The very best thing family can do for me in my absence is report they are communicating with one another which I question. As memory serves they are not to willing to discuss lifes challenges as they arise.
Thanks for the topic.
I am proud of you. Job well done!