I am still a little steamed about a reply from ferris 1 about my "busy" work order question. Look nobody is perfect.A lot of us are taking care of people that were not very nice to us and yet we are taking care of them. You know what, sometimes I don't care what she wants.There are days I can't stand the sound or sight of her.I am not proud of this ,yet this is how I feel. What is great about this site is it give a safe place to let out these thoughts. I was using up so much energy feeling guilty because I wasn't just feeling all hugs and kisses all the time with my mother.Yes I know that a lot of the behavior from these older folks is from fear,anxiety but you know sometimes nasty people get older and it doesn't all of a sudden turn them into nice people.Sometimes villains do get older.
On occasion I have been slammed from one end to the other by people here who don't like me...... OH WELL...... it's their right.... but I will continue to put myself out here.... cause this is where I need to be.... and as one caregiver to another... I truly do appreciate your honesty... it is feelings, not right or wrong.... just feelings...... so put your big girl panties on, let it go... and continue to be who you are..... sending you hugs...
Texarkana.....I get what you are saying on a different level. I don't feel my mom was there for me at different times in my life when I could have used her support but here I am being responsible and doing the right thing now for her when on some days I'd really like my life back.....my privacy, my freedom, my stress level down.....all of that! Sometimes I avoid my mother because I really don't want to hear about all the negative crap she watches on TV....who cares? I mean yes, it's okay to watch sometimes and I try to keep up with current events, but all the time? Not interested! Do a puzzle! Go outside and get some sun on your face! Pick up your cell phone and call someone on the phone who always has to call you if they want to hear from you.....ugh! Then she asks me how they are doing? What are they doing? I don't know mom, call and find out! I could go on and on but you get the idea! Dysfunctional with a capital "D"! There, I just vented and it was awesome! Vent all you want! I'll never judge!
I have been on a thread here where another person actually posted that people that have negative feelings as some of us have had are really not fit to be caregivers...that hurt and was really hard to deal with. But we dealt with it and tried to make the person see how that assertion did not even make any sense. And, as things went on, it became apparent that person was in counseling and all was not bliss in their situation either, and later on that person came back and posted from a different perspective.
It is hard right when you are feeling the pain of being attacked or put down, but do your best to stand up for yourself and others and even forgive the person as soon as you can. Most people here mean well, a very few seem pretty toxic, and once in a while a moderator steps in to cool things off and a few posts even get deleted. Don't worry about statistics and numbers, and turning this into a competition would be a terrible idea! Just give and receive as best you can.
Ah! feel a bit better now! 6am and still cant sleep head full of crap and worry about mums future! xx
When I see her comments I just skip over them.
I find her answers condescending. But I've read other peoples questions that make me feel like a "rocket scientist"! Of course those ones don't belittle my ego! Lol....
You have to take the good with the bad..
And as to your opinions, I say Amen. I have a difficult mother, very. I have received and read posts from people who are well meaning but really haven't walked the walk. I ignore them.
I really hate it when someone judges, it is just not productive or useful. Keep venting to all of the many, many on here who listen. They care.