Even if, as a child, you were a fan of The Brady Bunch, imagine being strapped down in a chair as an adult and forced to watch the same episodes over and over and over again for what seems like... the rest of your fricking life. Greg's raging hormones for a cute girl in his class. Marsha's election for class president. Jan's feelings of inferiority because of her popular sister. The drama nor outcome never changes. You know the ending because it never changes. Heck, you know the beginning and the middle as well. Yet you are forced to witness it every day for what seems like the rest of your life.
That is what being a caregiver to an elderly parent with Alzheimer's is like. It never f........... ends, does it? You never even get a break to catch your breath. And then, when your friends complain about their lives, you secretly want to tell them to screw off, because their problems seem small compared to the life you live, right? And 90 percent of the time, their problems are in their heads versus ours, which stare at us every single day, totally lost in space and totally dependent on us to survive.
I guess I'm not in a very good place tonight, eh?
Steve
Caring for a loved one who is terminally sick is really, really, really hard and exhausting... but at the end of the day, it can change us to be more compassionate and empathetic people, if we allow it. I certainly am better for serving my Mother when she is unable to do anything for herself - as hard as it can be... heart wrenching and painful indeed.
Now I would KILL for the chance to let her drive me insane again. I miss her so much, and wish I had been a better, more patient daughter than I was. As I sit here writing this I have tears running down my face. There was NOTHING I could do to help my mother while she was living, and now it's too late to do anything else.
I spent the last two years of my life trying to do everything for a woman who neither cared nor realized I was even there. Alzheimer's is the most horrible disease I can ever imagine!