I have been a caregiver for many years for a LO, but I am not her POA.
As with most other elder care situations, the lady's condition is getting worse and not better. Crucial, life-altering decisions are now being made by the POA regarding surgeries (or not), hospice (or not), palliative care (or not), etc. My opinion as a primary caregiver is suddenly a non-issue.
Yes, I can walk away and I understand all that. That's not my point. My point is that caregiving without POA can be a harrowing experience if one does choose to stay involved.
My intention is merely to remind others who may be in this situation. Presumably, you are in the situation knowingly and by choice - just as I am. It may not seem like a big deal right now to not have POA for the person receiving your care. But, then things start rapidly unravelling and POA starts making decisions that YOU (as a caregiver) will need to accept.... it can get difficult. Your experience in caring for the person does not need to be considered if POA decides at any time that he/she does not want your input (but does want your continued help, of course).
You're a nobody without POA - even if you're the one who's been there.
If the POA had been obligated to find a paid caregiver through an agency someone from an agency would have informed their supervisor that the decline had reached a point where a higher level of care would be needed in order to keep LO safe?
Or would the decision have been made to place LO in skilled care that suited the level of care needed.
Or would you, or could you have said at some point...this is getting to be more than I can safely do we either need another caregiver or we need to find a different way to care for LO.
You can't look back and say what if because you do not know what the course of events would have been.
But I agree with you, Mysteryshopper. There is no way I would ever, ever take on voluntary caregiving without not only being named POA, but also having access to that person's money. I would absolutely not take care of someone if I had to constantly being begging for the person needing care's money for their needs. I would have no problems keeping meticulous records of the expenditures, but no way would I be willing to deal with family members who were only concerned with keeping their inheritance "intact" to the detriment of the person needing care.