My sibling frequently says he/she is going to visit our parents (about two hours away) and continually disappoints them by not going. I realize things get in the way, but I feel so badly for my parents. I live out of state and when I go, it is not always on the holidays, but I stay for a significant amount of time. Am usually there four to six weeks a year.
believe he is being financially abused. My brother refuses to talk to me and
tell me where all my aunt's income is going. In the meantime, he expects my 90 year old dad to "drive and go buy food " for my mom. My dad, being a very proud man, truly believes he is capable. My brother rarely visits all of these old people but to get/handle monies, or hide documents from me/ or them. In the meantime,
my immeidate family uses our funds to make sure their needs are met. We worry constantly that they have enough food to eat because when we look their fridge is empty. It is very straining on our budget because my brother "handles"my mom and dad purse strings and their "mind", confidence, and trust. He did not even visit them on mothers and father's day ) actually for the last 25 holidays which we celebrated with them. I sometimes try to pull away because of frustration but end up dutifully doing what I always did and following through. I t frustrates my husband who feels we are not apreciated nor trusted by my demented parents and used by my brother. It is very hard because I visit my parents because I am worried and I know their time on earth is limited. Yet every visit leaves me frustrated and takes me days to recover from. The agitation I feel for my brother who chooses to ignore me and my existence is undescribable.
Yes, you must hurt when your sibling does not visit your parents. Sometimes it
hurts because you know your parents love for the isibling is unconditional like the love I see my parents have for my brother. Just keep on loving your parent as you do now with respect and empahty. I try to do that to my mom and dad so I can know in my heart their last years were filled with positive memories of me.