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I live in constant fear that he is going to pass away and do everything in my power to keep him well. I panic every time he says he has a pain or a sore breaks out on his legs or feet because he is a type 1 diabetic that has had several leg vascular surgeries and three heart attacks.

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Good for you! We all need a nurse Ratched in the family. I am lucky enough to have two Ratcheds. Get over the panic, though. Ratched never panics, not even when McMurphy (Jack Nicholson) has her by the throat. Ativan helps.
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I'm Nurse Ratched at my house. My stepmom was Nurse Ratched at hers. Although I don't quite remember the movie, except for the ending, I always take it as a compliment. ;)
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I do empathize with what you are trying to do for your husband. Of course the medications are most important. The proper diet is as well with diabetes; but maybe there could be some "comfort foods" now and then that perhaps a dietician could recommend? I remember how important dinner or snack time was to all the relatives I was caregiver for. It's often all they have to look forward to. So maybe there is something he might like to look forward to eat that won't send him into diabetic coma, etc. This is sooo difficult. Hope you can figure out something - food is so important. Take care.
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Yeah, your famiy is in luck - they get to pick on you and not do it themselves.

Nurse Ratched was a sadistic power tripper. And she never panicked because she didn't really even care abotu the well being of her patients. YOU just love your husband. Its hard to disregard little aches and pains when you are afraid someone is gonna die. But meticulous skin care and knowing when to call 911 for an actual MI in progress would be health and life saving, and hubby is lucky to have someone who cares enough to do it.
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i cared for my mom for 6 yrs until her death from dementia . i never took one speck of control away from her . she was a diabetic -- shes going to cheat . she was just considerably older and smarter than me so i only helped her when she needed help , nothing more . to push her or my aunt around would only bring out the defiance in them . theyve both made the statement that they " just feel safe with me " . i think its because im not a threat to their self determination ..
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Wow that's great advice. Don't take their power but just be there for there needs.
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