Family conflict about power of attorney.
My Brother is going into a nursing home and he needs to have a D..P.O.A and my sister that he was living wth want me to be on with her...But it seems my our family doesnt want me on because of what they THINK i did to our dad in regards to his money that they seemed to think he had alot OF..They have it all wrong but you cant tell them nothing they really think i spent all their inheritance and the bad part of it , they didnt deserve it even if they did get some, they didnt want to help me they drop everything in my lap when they went on with their lives, i put my life on hold for 5 yrs cuz i choosed to take care of dad and surely they all agreed it wasnt sweat of their backs, but when that time came for my dad to go on..OH BOY their hands were all stuck out but it came up empty so if you read my stories back you can read what they did to me and didnt accomplisehd anything, but my sister called me and ask me to help with our brother, others were frantic telling her dont let her handlel no money etc etc.im like......no you guys didnt say that while you guys are standing on the side line ..i back off when all this come about with my brother because i KNEW this would come up so...a few days later she called me and i told her i can tell you what you can do and she said NO i want you on here with me, at first i said no because i don't want to get involved," i will help you" i told her and she said "NO PLEASE" she doesnt care what the others say she has to act now on this because our 'tbrother needs help bad in all fields. I really don't want to do this but i know how it feels todo it all by urself and turn around and get ------ on and with her she is so small and petitie they will chew her up and spit her out if she messed up she is not as strong as me cause i told them all to go to ---and didnt blink either...
Frankly, if I were you, I'd just say No. But I don't know the nature of your relationship with this particular brother or with the sister that needs your help. But given how dysfunctional your family is, I sure don't know why you would want to sign on for more grief.
In any case, you don't want the job so just say No.
(What a strange family you have! How did you turn out so normal?)
Your sister obviously trusts you so I would do it. More than anything your brother needs to have a will and trust in place, if possible, if not..I would keep excellent records of what money is spent where.. If they are greedy enough, your family can take you to court to make sure the monies were used properly. It is just easier if you start taking records from the beginning. Good luck
I think you have your answer, as you wrote in the post above.
The main thing is that your brother gets the help he needs. I assume your sis can do this, and it is very good of you to offer to help her, even though you do not want to be on the POA. More than one person on a POA can cause problems.
Do what is good for you.
((((((hugs))))) Joan
Now my brother who is suffering with cancer and mentally disabled since birth. She is and had been his Rep payee for S.S. and she does pay his bills. She has not one clue of his care needs nor does she bring him to Dr's until it's critical and fatal, in fact she still does not do it my uncle does. When I brought this to other family members attention I was told don't be so Bitter.
I can't believe it I care if my brother and mother die but they all run except for my uncle and I am the Bitter one? There is a way I might go with this and that is Health care directive not financial just health issues, I think I am looking into it now.
I am soooo glad that you have decided to NOT share with the DPOA. I would have been suspicious on why sis wants You to legally share responsibility. As I read this thread, I kept thinking that sis wants you there so that if anything goes wrong, you will be the fall guy - the person to be blamed.
Ms.Diva, you can always make peace with your siblings...but never ever forget what they did to you. Action speaks louder than words. I'd watch my back when around them. They have proven that they can easily turn against you for something so trivial as money (material possessions.) You be careful now. Take care!
I am on here to seek information regarding Dementia, as my father has been diagnosed. I was his caregiver for a month or so and then he made me come back to FL, to be with my family. As if he is not family and does not matter.
Misdiva, my heart goes out to you and what you went through!! Only the strong could go through something like that and come out on top. You are blessed. To a certain degree, my family is going through a tough time. My story is ugly, but not that ugly. I want the best for my father, i want for his wishes to be fulfilled. i want whatever he wants. My sibling, stole the will found out he has POA and has done many nasty, horrible things since then. My father has an equal amount to go to the siblings.......however, my brother found out dad's net worth and also found out a large portion is going to be donated to the church, in my mother's honor. He wants all the money and belongings. What kills me is that he does not see how bad our father is hurting because our family is arguing. It is not fair to dad to have to watch his kids argue. Regardless.
So, I understand where you are coming from! Rude to be called out....just my perspective.
God Bless
My direct caregiving has been 9.5 years for my husband with dementia. Now my mother who also has dementia is living with my sister, and I am hoping to be be very supportive. I have only warm feelings for those caring for loved ones with dementia.