I have a respite weekend planned with my son. I care for my loved one who is 74 and had a stoke. But Im torn between taking my loved one and leaving him with respite care. The guilt and anxiety I have as the weekend gets closer. A lot of what ifs keep going thru my head. What if I take him and we break down on the highway what if I leave him and something happens while I gone. I shouldnt be this hard when it comes to taking care of my self. .
When I make a quick errand run, if someone starts talking to me OUT THERE....I find myself feeling like I sound so stupid...I feel like I am rambling, stuttering, and just feeling like I have been on an island by myself for a long time and all these new fangled things out here in the world are stupifying to me...and it's only been two and a half years....I used to be considered fairly well read, well spoken, intelligent...why is it I feel like a blithering idiot now...
If you work at it, you can feel guilty about nearly everything connected with caregiving. I know it does no good to say "you're not doing anything wrong. Don't feel guilty" (even though it is true) so I'll say instead, "Learn to live with a low level of guilt. Push it as far into the background as you can. And don't let it interfere with the actions you decide upon."
And in this case the right decision it to make sure LO is cared for in your absence and take the trip.