Hello if you look at my profile you will learn a little bit of what I an going through but lately I have been very b**chy yes that's the word to describe myself but my Mom nag's a lot she is a born again Christian and goes on she doesn't even watch TV or listen to the radio unless the program is strictly Christian. and calls me just as I go to the washroom or calls for the littlest things that can wait I am exhausted I am also cooking for her husband because he won't cook she has catered to him all her life and his ex-wife did and his mother I even dump the garbage long story short feeling overwhelmed no life neglecting myself feeling guilty for being grumpy with my Mom and partner any advice I am really depressed too. Already on a antidepressant already joined a support group etc.
dont feel guilty when someone is trying to drag you into their misery. get shi**y with em and tell them to grow up.
I also understand how caregiving can etch away at your time. I am fortunate that my mother does like her TV. If she weren't watching it, she would be thinking of all kinds of things I need to do. :) I don't do things for my mother that she can do for herself. It wouldn't be good for her or for me.
Is your mother's husband incapacitated? or does he just like being catered to? I wouldn't do anything for him that he can do for himself. It isn't good for you or for him. It's sad we often are put in a position of being the "bad guy" if we protest. But sometimes we have to protest to keep from being misused. I don't know how you might handle him, but I would try to get him used to seeing after himself. I know it is easier for me to say this than for you to do it. You didn't marry the man, so I don't see any reason that you should be caring for him if he is capable.