as you know my MIL has passed away recently. i feel that my husband is taking it extremley hard as i knew he would because they were very close. i am concerned that he is going into depression. it's going on week 3 and he not going back to work. he refuses to talk to me ecept when he is in one of those moods and he starts snapping. i am trying to be as patient and understanding as possible but my patience is starting to wear thin. i was one of the caretakers while his mother was sick and tried to tell him what is going on with her. so i don't know if what he is going through is out of guilt becuase he did not want to face the reality of her condition. he refuses to talk about it and i don't want to force him. but i am tired of feeling like i am walking on eggshells around him too.i don't know what else i can do for him at this point.
It would help him so much if he would open up to you. Perhaps the passing of time will put him in a different perspective. Actually, returning to work would be good and keep his mind busy. But, apparently he is too grief stricken and is in a depression.
Would he even go to his primary care physician and possibly get on some medication for the depression? I know you have probably already considered all of these options. Many people are against talking to a professional as they feel uncomforable and this is understandable - but sometimes we all need help dealing with certain issues. Hope things improve, meanwhile take care of yourself as well - this is hard on you too. Take care.
There are wonderful grief support networks in many communities. Perhaps you can find a good one for yourself, then work with your husband. Listening and talking to other people who are struggling with grief may help a lot. Often "ordinary" people are uncomfortable dealing with death and grief. Someone who understands what your husband is feeling with have softer shoulders to lean on.
I hope he finds the strength to get through this period of deep grief. You are wonderful for wanting to help him.