Ive been caring for my 83yr grandmother for last 3yrs. I live with her she has dementia, has macular degeneration, and hard of hearing. She has 3 kids who live hrs away. My mother being one I have not been given any help or relief but all gripe about everything. I do it all, pay bills, clean, Dr appts. While they go on vacation and makes me mad. I'm 46 they said I can't have any company they don't pay worth a crap. I have 3 times now thought I was going to have to give her CPR and dealing with the thought I could lose her. Yet they feel like they are doing me a favor. I'd done left if you didn't love my mama's so much. But I am going nuts. Does anyone have any suggestions or thoughts on what I should do?
What you are doing, sounds like it's actually the job of 3 people, if you are doing this alone. Maybe, they are just insensitive. Whatever, the cause, I'd survey the situation and see if this is something that is working for you. You may have to just focus on your peace of mind and satisfaction. Are you being fulfilled? Are you getting enough respite time? Are you being taken advantage of? I'd make a list of things that bother you, that need to be changed and try to make myself happy. You may never see appreciation from these family members. Some people just don't have it in them. I wouldn't waste my time waiting.
I might also get a backup plan, because what happens to grandmother if you get sick or injured and aren't able to provide her care?
This equals power that YOU have in this situation. Power to enforce better boundaries, have people over, defy their "rules," tell family you're not listening to their griping anymore, stand up for yourself, perhaps even get a bit more financial support for what you're doing. You can do this! You have more control over them than you realize. (((((big hugs)))))