Regarding the question of whether to have a funeral when there are no close relatives or friends that you feel like entertaining! I am an only child with few if any relatives that care a d*mn. My mother lived with us as an invalid for about 15 years. I was so shattered when she died I could not face a funeral. My husband agreed . My mother was buried in the local Woodland Burial ground and the lovely people there saw to everything . I felt she was not actually there but more with me or in a better place. l should have had a cremation but couldn't think straight at the time. We feel the funeral business is a con. but its not the money its having to go along with convention. A service some time afterwards can be held. Funerals are not about the person who has died! They are for those who are left. Just convention.
And a Mass said out in Iowa. Mass, ok I can understand that but attended by whom? Maybe a couple of my cousins who saw my parents back in 1974. I can't be there, my flying days are over, you couldn't lure me onto a plane for no amount of money.... and my parents are in their mid-90's, so no flying for either of them, either.
I know for me, cremation will work, just scatter my ashes... no viewing, no Mass, no reception. Not even an obituary. I knew I existed, the rest of the world doesn't need to know.
I rather like the Irish tradition of throwing a party to celebrate the deceased's life.
Yes just a few prayers if people want this.
My other issue would be the grandkids, my nieces and nephews, some of which are devout fundamentalists, who will be outraged if there is no proper service with all the attendant religious hoopla. I'm not religious nor are my parents. But when my older brother died suddenly about 3 years ago his sons insisted on the whole package, two competing ministers, fancy coffin etc. My brother had no money and my parents in their grief forked over approx. 15 K to the funeral home. It was a two day ordeal, visitation, funeral and graveside service. I don't know how my mother survived this mess.
I think we have all attended funerals and wondered, "Hmmm.....I hope this many people turn out for my funeral". It's a little vanity I suppose, to hope there will be multitudes grieving over your dead body.
So when my folks go I will do as little as I can get by with. If the nephews want some prayers said fine, but Its not gonna be a revival service. And Im not spending whatever might be left of their estate on ridiculous caskets and funeral home gewgaws. I've had to accompany my grieving mother to set up arrangements for my brother and sister in the past five years. If I hadn't been there she would have spent the life savings on all this silly crap pushed by the funeral home.