The New Normal. Getting used to mom's delusions.
We can have some strange conversations in this house. I am starting to see them as a normal part of life.
Tonight my mother came in my room and asked if we still had insurance on the house. I told her yes. She seemed relieved and said, "So if lightning strikes the heater, then they will pay to replace it." I guaranteed her they would, but wondered why she was thinking about this.
She was about to leave, but turned to ask if they would help with all the cracks in the floor, that some of them were big enough to fit a dime through. She pointed at all the cracks in the floor. Of course, there are no cracks in the floor, but to her there are. We had the floor reinforced and lifted a few months ago, and since then she has imagined that there are spaces between all the boards. She doesn't understand how the floors are put together. I tried to explain, but it didn't help. She doesn't remember.
I just considered it might help to carpet the house. But that would be expensive and she would probably blame the new carpet for symptoms she experiences. Anytime workmen come into the house, she feels they do something to cause her to be ill. I need to do something, though, because she puts blankets and towels on the floor of her bedroom to cover all the cracks. I pick things up. She puts them back down. She thinks she is covering all the cracks in the floor, but all I see are trip hazards.
I may do best to get some large area rugs to cover all the cracks. That way I could install them and tape them in place, and there would be no workmen doing things that make her ill. And maybe she wouldn't be allergic to the rugs. And maybe she wouldn't think the cracks were still letting things in.
The strangest thing is that I am starting to see all of this as normal -- solving problems that don't even exist. I guess I am getting dotty myself.
There was a strange one yesterday. She asked me to go to the store for her. I did and when I got back, I gave her the package. She said, "You won't miss me when I'm dead." What does one say to that? You're welcome?
I wonder how many of these things are from perceiving information wrong and how much may be from dreams. The other night I had a dream about a woman with high heeled shoes that had heels with a sharp point. The next morning I was thinking about this woman like she was real. I wondered how she walked without falling over. Then I remembered it was only a dream. Had I not realized that, there would still be this woman out there with shoes nearly impossible to walk on.
I've also wondered if people with dementia tend to see children or spirits because of the human abilities to pull faces out of their surroundings. For example, we see faces in the clouds or made by shadows in the tree. We may be adapted to see faces because of the danger they can pose to us if they were real. Shadows can become people in the night. Those closets are particularly scary.
Just needed to vent some, and from a spouse's view.
Give a hug, and need a hug.
It sounds like you are doing a great job with your wife. She is lucky to have Joshua as well as Sam to look after her!
Some events, like having the neighbors over, can really take a lot out of our loved ones. But I feel they are also important, and add pleasure and meaning to our loved one's lives. We need a good crystal ball to figure out where to draw the lines, and when the costs outweigh the benefits. My husband golfed with a league for persons with handicaps. It took a lot out of him and he was pretty much out of it the rest of the day and sometimes the next day. But he absolutely lived for his golf and bowling and I tried very hard to make that possible for him, no matter what. In the 9+ years I took care of him I think I got pretty good at reading the crystal ball, but I never achieved perfection.
Hugs to you, and to your wife, and to all those people who haven't gone home yet!