I don't know if there is any interest in a thread like this. But I am on my third round of losing a parent (father, stepmother, now mother), and I find myself so frustrated and irritated by the religiosity that is pushed on me when I'm dealing with issues grief and death. You may know the kind I'm talking about. "They're going to a better place." Or, "You'll see them again someday!" Or, "Take comfort in god." Or, "Trust in god, this is part of his plan." I know people are usually well-meaning, but I DON'T find comfort in that at all. I find it dismissive of my own belief system, to be honest.
As it is, I have a really hard time with death. Because I don't believe that I'll see them again, my grief seems all the more devastating. It also makes me fear death far more than I did when I was a believer. I notice this in my mother too - she has never been a believer, even back when I was, and now she is hanging on to a life of suffering because it's better than ceasing to exist. I don't even know how to comfort her myself. It would be easier to deal with all this if I could just believe in some kind of afterlife, but I don't. I have wrangled with spiritual issues all my life, and my conclusion is that....I HOPE there's something, but I really don't think there is.
Anyone else in this non-believer boat and want to join me in wrangling with your own death and grief issues here? Or maybe you're a believer who doesn't know how to comfort non-believers, but would like to explore that?
(I strongly urge the religious folks on this board to avoid using this thread as an opportunity to proselytize to an already vulnerable group of people.)
I predict soul saving efforts, heated debates and prayers for us non believers. And the thread will probably get shut down soon.
I respect anyone’s right to believe anything they want but I don’t like to be expected to respect what people believe. There’s some wacky stuff out there.
But let’s face it, most of the people on earth claim to be BELIEVERS. I bow my head during grace at thanksgiving, prayers at funerals and all that. I’m not a militant atheist. It just makes life to hard file a lawsuit over every nativity scene in the town square.
For example....My mom is not religious and has made it clear that she wants a simple service when she dies, not a church service. But I know most of the folks at her service will want to have a prayer or two. I’ll allow one prayer out of respect for our friends and relatives who are religious. It won’t kill me.
The only time I get just a little militant is when people tell me how they’ll pray for me or want to SAVE me. Or, let’s face it, all the evangelicals who think Trump represents family values.
Most of the time, when someone offers me spiritual comfort out of genuine believe, I just say a quiet "thank you" and hope they stop there. But sometimes they keep on going and then get upset with me if I say, "I'm sorry, but that really doesn't help." And/or then I find myself avoiding them if I run into them somewhere!