I am 62 and my 89-year-old mom lives with myself, my husband and my son. My son doesn't work. He has general anxiety disorder, but has a very loving relationship with his grandmother. The reason we all live together is she started falling about a year ago and her primary care doctor said the family should look into assisted living. My older sister lives 1,000 miles away and is executive for her will and money. We agreed both Mom and and I would sell our homes and we bought a beautiful large home and we used 50k of her funds to kick in down payment for this. We have our ups and downs but so far so good. My husband and I want to take 3 weeks off this summer and do a road trip. My plan is to leave my mother and my son together. He is quite capable and has even picked her up when she feel. I told my sister this was my plan since no one else in the family wants to take charge this seems the only way we will get a break. Naturally, Mom is a little anxious, but she was living alone last year so she is still better off having her grandson here. Any comments or support on this is really appreciated!
The only things that stick out to me is, if your mother had a serious fall or a sudden health crisis- would your son be able to handle it or would his anxiety disorder get the better of him?
Second - you say your sister is executor of the "will and money" - do you mean that she also has POA? If so, with her being so far away that seems a little impractical. Also, at least in my opinion it's better if the sibling who is doing the caregiving also has the medical and financial authority to act on the persons behalf.
Next would be the issue of your mother paying a chunk of cash for the house down payment. Has that all be documented appropriately in case your mom needs to apply for Medicaid in the next five years. If that money is viewed as a gift you could be looking at a penalty.
Beyond those three issues - I don't see why you shouldn't have a good vacation.
Your son has GAD and he doesn't work?
Is he geting disability payments? Is his anxiety not able to be managed with meds and therapy?