Before my mom was discharged from the hospital, her doctor recommended Hospice. I decided to go with them, but at my home. My guilt comes from the fact that, when mom eventually stopped eating and drinking, the nurse never suggested IV’s and I said nothing... how could I be so stupid to think without nourishment and water she wouldn’t pass... I can’t forget it and it’s been almost 18 years!!
In medical emergencies, IV's are needed to increase blood volume, causing many people to think this is a necessary life saving procedure. But in your mother's case this would not have been helpful or discomfort relieving. I'm sorry the nurse did not think to explain this to you. It sounds as if your mother experienced a comfortable natural death and you should feel no regret, whatsoever, for the treatment she received.
If you are suffering this after this long time it is only because of a lack of good information. Please speak with a doctor who cared for your Mom, the Hospice if still in business, or others who can discuss with you the dying process, and the dreadful results of pouring in fluids at that time. Consider some therapy to deal with the life passage that comes to us all, that we all must pass through. I am so sorry for your grief.