I took a week off didn't call my folks it was so painful. They're still in the nursing home. The court date for Guardianship 1/27, of which they both have no idea is going to happen. I called them today dad said they have Pneumonia so I had to bother the nurses to find out what the heck is going. They said they've been trying to call me for days but get only a busy signal, everyone else gets through I don't know what they're doing on their end!
I hate that my folks are where they are miserable sick, their house hasn't been occupied in months. Mother said the sisters called to Killer Ant 2 to volunteer to go house sit REALLY I BET! I don't know what's the truth when I speak to them, all I know is I'm an emotional wreck afterwards. My dad did tell me he loved me, and I was able to pray with mother on the phone for their comfort!
I also decided to torture myself further hence " I HATE FACEBOOK" title summary I went back on facebook to see my X is having the time of his life and I just imploded from their. I HATE FACEBOOK!!!!!!! What I really can't stand is I' scared, alone, in need of comfort, jobless, damn it I'm depressed! I have a blood line that if I didn't know we were related I wouldn't speak to them after the first introduction. I've been comparing old classmates lives and successes to my upside down screwed up lousy life wondering what flyin fayhenie is next! Yes I'm whiny and miserable and if I didn't have to be around me I'd leave but I don't have a choice.
Sorry guys I just needed to vent I'm in need of a rescue, I'm so lost right now!!!!! I've got to believe God has something wonderful on the other side of this! I just can't see the other side, I'm dying to so many of my old bad behaviors, thought processes, belief systems about what's important and what's real!
DOES ANYONE know what I'm saying...... I feel so damaged I may never come back. Talking the job counselor gave me know hope at all for a future. I feel NUTS, TOTALLY NUTS RIGHT NOW! Where's the tuna can's the blue tights, my tiara and the magic bracelets cause I'm coming UNDONE!
First off, the practicalities. Unfriend your ex if you haven't already and don't be tempted to put his name in the search. Curiosity will just make you feel worse, and you don't need that right now. After a while your anger at you ex will fade and he will be nothing to you.
Next figure out how you're going to find that new job. I have a feeling that getting a job will be the biggest boost to your self esteem. Good self esteem is the best armor in this world. Write a killer resume and brush up on some needed job skill. Practice the standard interview questions so you can wow them.
A month from now things will probably look more orderly. Something I do when I'm going through a bad time is to tell myself that this, too, shall pass. Sometimes we just have to see how we want things to be, then work to make them that way.
Now if I follow my own advice... Easier to tell others than it is to do it myself. But we are getting there.
so there you go zoolife. when i went to grade school we were taught to read between the lines to determine what was really being implied.
When you are no longer swimming against the tide to get the proper care that your parents deserve, everything will become easier in your personal life as well.
Practice Law of Attraction. What do you want and focus on dat and draw it to you. Look briefly at where you are, think concretely about where you want to be and the method to get there will manifest in your life.
Desire and belief are the key. You will only have what you want if you believe you can have it!
All you are doing is comparing a "greatest hits" to your every day life. What I mean is, generally people do not post on FB or social media, bad things. No one talks about the job loss, debt, divorces, and the general low points everyone has in life on the social media. So what you are left with is a lot of friends posting only great things, new job, new car, new gf/bf etc. So looking at it makes a person feel as if their life is not as good as all their friends.
Take it all with a grain of salt. Maybe start posting the good things that happen during you day to FB to show the world, and yourself that there are good things happening in your life to celebrate.
Oh, honey, don't try to FIND the dream. HAVE your own dream. Make it a REALITY!Just because you CAN (and I don't mean tuna...hahahahaha).
Unfriend everyone who is not a friend. I am facebook friends with a few people I barely know because I love their political posts. Look for uplifting posts - religious or funny, or nature-related. There's one page called Dirty Old Boston with pictures sent in by viewers of gritty city scenes of the late 20th century. There's another called Amazing Things that has outrageously incredible photos.
In other words, stop torturing yourself. You don't deserve torture.
Don't feel dumb for rubbing your own nose in it. We all do it sometimes.
As an atheist Christian Buddhist, I look at my life and say it is good. I have brought the souls of my husband and daughter together. I treat them with love. I do my best to be loving to him - in spite of what he says. I would love to travel. Ain't gonna happen. My life is still good.
Your life is good. You have persevered through extremely difficult times. You have done the right thing against constant opposition. You will probably not "win" if you define winning as "dying with the most toys." You will win if you define that as doing your duty and trying to reduce human suffering. Extra points for loving friends and finding joy in small things.
1) Do not compare your life with other people because on Facebook, people present a happy stress free life. 99% of them are not posting their problems. I use to compare my life to other people my age...why do they have these big homes, how can they go on cruises, all these trips they take? The answer is that most who are in the same income bracket as me and hubby, are living outside their financial means and they have different priorities. They are not right and we are wrong...different priorities, different lifestyles. Deflect this with your bracelets now!! Pull up those blue tights (even if it creates a...you know camel..hmmm) and show the world what you are made of!!!
2)I agree with Jessie....unfriend your ex now!! If you have to deactivate your account with facebook for a few months do it. I have in-laws that have deactivated their accounts for a year...came back on and deleted several people off their friend list. They only kept people who they believed were like minded.
3) Again as Jessie stated...focus on what you need to do for yourself in finding a job. If you need support come here...not facebook. I only post funny reposts, spiritual posts or nature posts. Very seldom do I post what I am doing currently.
4)Do something everyday that is positive for you....be it a 20 minute walk...calling someone you can connect with and support for a 10 minute call....and practice detachment with love with family who is hassling you. Meditate on positive outcomes to situations and believe it will happen.
5)set those boundaries with people in your life, set boundaries on facebook, and believe in yourself. You are a good person, no one can take that away from you unless you let them!!
Most of all...try to find ways to relax, take some deep breaths, cook yourself a great dinner...who cares if it is only for you...you deserve it...take a bubble bath, play some relaxing music YOU enjoy, bake a cake for someone you know who would appreciate it...maybe a neighbor who is alone.
You count in this life too...don't forget that!!
Hugs to you dear friend!!
after nearly 40 years i located a few army buddies. the one - upping liars were still that, the elitist ones were still that, etc. it only took a conversation with each to remember what i didnt like about them.
i havent been on facebook in years. dont care what my ex or my alleged sons are doing. and if you females are planning to reassert your power you already have half the money and all the vagina.
kidding kinda. i just read a book about hard times in appalacia a century ago and it was clear to me that the women were the backbone of the communities. the men ( and women ) worked like animals . i believe that life was too hard for an individual without a mate. itd be nice to see the two genders team up for their common benefit again but i think the colleges have gone overboard and are instructing women to soar free and climb the corporate ladder. i do not correlate money and happiness. if i had a million dollars i might splurge on a bucket of fresh paint for the 51 chevy but otherwise dont need a thing.
thats not entirely true, i do need a good woman in my life. one who likes cutting firewood, laying stone, canning tomatoes,and laid back enough to physically rest after a 3-4 day run of hard labor.
yea im ramblin, waiting for the ambien to kick in then im gonna go fire up the old bulldozer and sleepdrive to the beer store.
Call 'em up and check. Pound to a penny - !
But, I do still have friends there that are living the life I once lived. In beautiful places with fun friends.
And I often have to put up with them trying to convince me that yes, I could fly to Florida for a visit or to California for some great event. This just isn't a part of my reality right now at all.
I feel so dull and introverted that I just stopped posting for a long time.
Then I found my kitten, and sometimes in the evening when I can snap a few photos of her being adorable, I post those, just to let the world know that they may have a life, but *I* have a kitten!
She must be the luckiest kitten in the world, oh how I dote on her.
Gawd, would it be stupid of me to tell you to get a kitten or a puppy? I don't know how I would have survived (the even worse) depression of the holidays without my Babbi.
Well, I'm probably chiming in very late on this discussion.
The only thing I can add, is FB, is sooooooo phony. I recently heard
on tv, how many people are turning away from it in droves, exactly for the reasons you've stated. I've never had an account. My husband does, so many times I do hear about what a grand tool it is, keeping up with people, contacting them, etc. Truth be told....I personally don't want to "keep up, nor contact in the manner FB makes this." So, try refrain as much as possible from following people. Besides, people do have a way of exaggerating about their lives, too.
Facebook, smacebook.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
I just spoke to a friend who is much more organized than I am his dad just pasted he had to fly back to Ohio, then to Tennessee where he opened the storage unit to his life. He's got to clean it out all the old memories and bring it back he's having a lot of feelings about it all. I'm just rambling thanks for listening and for everyone's input. Shalom