Yes, you read that right. What a day.....I don't even have a whole lot of detail. Other to say I am so ashamed of myself but yesterday when my brother visited and Mama went from a catatonic sleeping beauty to a comedian on the Tonight Show upon the mere sight of him, I just give up. It must be nice to get to live your life exactly as you choose and show up once a week for an hour or two and Mama treats him like he is the be all end all of all time. Forever Mr. Awesome, the golden boy of all golden boys...and all I am is a pack mule. After putting up with her staring at me and refusing to eat today and crapping one load after another, I just lost my mind and mooned her...and yes I am ashamed. I am going to h*ll.
Don't be so hard on yourself. I am actually chuckling about this, as I would never have the gumption to do what you did. Tomorrow, you may laugh at yourself, I hope so.
On the more serious side, this is a wake up call. You need breaks, some time to yourself. Talk to your brother. If he can't give you respite care, he can pay for you to hire somebody. Maybe a housekeeper to take some of the drudge work off you, or a companion for your mother. Better yet let him take his Mom for weekends at the palace. Handle this now, don't let it escalate. Thanks for the laugh.
Hugs to you
The insane thing is I did not even get a rise out of her over it. She just stared at me and look disgusted ( I'm sure she was) and laid back down.
Another bad thing for us here is that Mama is totally bedridden...She lives in this bed, can only lift her head from the pillow a slight bit (to observe a full moon or whatever) so there is no getting her anywhere else unless it is by ambulance to respite care....All the lifting, all the turning, all of it is on me. It finally just built up...thanks for all the encouragement. yesterday was truly a wakeup call . I know how angry I was and am glad that it came out in the form of a lunar appearance...next time I might not so lucky...thanks again.
"...can only lift her head from the pillow a slight bit (to observe a full moon or whatever)" BAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!
You, my friend, have kicked it up a notch, and I salute you for it. (Not with my middle finger, but with a real salute.)
Perhaps your brother's wife needs a hobby to put some excitement in her life. Try dropping your mother off at the lavish lake house as a surprise for her. It will brighten up her boring existence to have a bedridden old lady to take care of. As a bonus, your mom can be with her golden boy all the time. Think how nice that will be for him!
Just leave mom on the doorstep in the dark of night and take off for parts unknown. You can blow the horn and chuck a moon out the window as you drive off into the night.
I sat down with Mama this morning and told her I was sorry about all the upset last night and that today was going to be a better day. I told her I was sorry I mooned her. She told me, "well, that's about as bad as it gets....about the worst thing I ever saw" bahahahahahaha.....bless her heart. I told her I was not proud of myself and that I loved her and I was just really tired. She told me, "well, you've got a lot of loads on you"...it's like sometimes she does understand that I do not have an easy road here....so onward and forward. It has been a good morning. Here's to everyone and hoping we all have a great day....
HAAH! I sure laughed at your post! When I got mid way through it, I also felt very bad for you as I already knew where you were going with it. Listen, I'm sure many here for all the putting up w/difficult caregiving may have given it a thought to do this. Actually, I think this was brave on your part, and don't feel bad, sometimes we do have to do some theater therapy, with no expectations about our performance. I thought this was hilarious.
Much Love & Light! Margeaux
She is fine, now - in the NH, but if we visit for more than 3 days, she becomes dependent again.
I would suggest that you get mom the 24/7 care, that she needs. You and she will both be better off.
Bedridden needs 24/4 nursing care and you are working all 3 shifts. Too much for one person.