It made me feel put down, like I was complaining and like my mom was doing pretty well in comparison and why wasn't I just rejoicing. I am needing your perspective on this as, in my viewpoint, my 95 yr. mom is definitely going through stages of going downhill and yes, I realize my mom isn't bed-bound as my mom's friend was, but I was just wanting to talk to a friend as it gets kinda lonely and scary for me at times. At this point, I'm just feeling hurt and like I don't want to share with this friend anymore.
Some people don't seem to be able to resist turning conversations into competitions. If your mother is sick, their mother was sicker. If you just got over a case of the flu, the one they had in 2007 was way worse. If you are looking forward to a flight they tell you about they went on that was farther and more glamorous.
If this friend has other fine characteristics and is a joy in other ways, you may just have to accept her as she is. But definitely she is not the one to go to when you need a sympathetic ear. I hope you have other friends with more sensitivity.
Also, come here talk to us!
She might be saying "Cadams called to talk about her mom. She doesn't understand what I went through." Try her again.
I also agree with the above posts, it could be listening skills or her just saying in her own way," yes your lucky in a way because your mom is still with you " but maybe she wasn't being non caring. Talk with her again, let her know how you both can help each other and you both need each other to talk with. Let her know that overall, you both are going through something hard no matter how it happened. And both of you talk about some good memories as well.
Im really sorry about your moms health getting worse. Your in my thoughts ..hugs.
cadams
There are always blessings to count, there is always someone less fortunate than yourself, or your loved one. Those things are true. But that does not mean that you are not allowed to feel very sorry for yourself, and very anxious about your mother. Big hug xxx
I understand where you're coming from. And like some of the others said, some people have to "one up" when having a conversation. Now you know that if you need to talk this person may not be the best person to turn to for a compassionate ear or a shoulder to cry on.
But we're here!!!!
If I had a back ache, his back ache was worse. If the weather is hot and I feel very warm, he will say he feels hotter to a point where he feels like passing out [he just said this 10 minutes ago]. And don't get me started on the common cold. But that is just one flaw in his personality, he doesn't know how to communicate. He's big on sports, so everything is completion in his world. He's still worth keeping around :)
In sickness (his) and health (yours) eh? I'm glad you still love him really :)