I feel I'd rather her die then live this way....AND so does she.
This is horrible! Mom's depression, anxiety and grief are pretty well controlled. But her body is just getting worse.
I'm wondering if we have the onset of Parkinson's here. She shakes like crazy. Even her face twitches.
The pain is immense. The pain killers do little at best. She gets shooting pains in her feet, legs and hands. She can barely stand from a sitting position and often gets stuck on the toilet. I have the toilet seat with handles, but in the a.m. she forgets to put it on.
And forget walking! Her legs wobble and give out. Topped with COPD, a few feet is a loooooong journey. If she even makes it. I bought her a nice transport wheelchair, it should be here today.
She also has vertigo. And Something with her eyes, that causes double vision. That's new because we were at the eye Dr last month.
Her clogged corrotids need two surgeries. There will be drains coming out of her neck after each surgery. I hope I have the stomach to clean them out.
My son's friends family owns a CBD manufacturing company in Colorado. While they were here over the weekend, we ordered her the topical cream and 600mg drops for pain. I'm desperate at this point.
This woman was never a complainer nor crier. But she sure does cry now. She says she can't go on like this anymore. And that's killing ME!
She's even, half jokingly, say's to give her her Xanax and pain meds. She'll end it. Luckily neither of us have access to them. I had DH fill, (and refill) both scripts and lock them in the gun safe. He doles them out as needed. I do not have the combo and don't want it, as I am in recovery and refuse to play on the railroad tracks.
I need to emotionally detach. My feelings are way to emeshed with hers. When she's up, I'm up, when she's down, I'm down. We were always this way.
She's too well for hospice and too sick to live. This hurts so much. How do I handle this?
I wonder though if she really is too well for hospice. She's clearly in a lot of discomfort, and if I understand correctly, it's accelerating.
Was this subject discussed at her last ER visit or doctor visit?
I don't recall the reason for the shaking and the pain. Could you refresh this old memory of mine? If both of those symptoms are becoming worse, that might change a hospice evaluation.
Is your mum aware you are recovering? I only ask that because if you get 'stronger' medicinal's from the doctor, will that put you in peril too? Luckily you have a great DH looking out for you both.
Can you get the doctor to make a 'house call'? This way he may get a better picture of all the problem your mum is having?
When I am a bit down, I play some music and hoover the who;e house. I have the music up full blast (I have good neighbours lol) and sing my heart out. Now imagine me with my walker in one hand and hoover in the other, singing my head off. lol
I send you a smile, love and hugs. Don't forget to look out for your self at all times.
PCP initially thought her leg, feet and hand pain was diabetic neuropathy. She gave her neorontin, 200mgs 3xdaily. It doesn't help. Since the legs are getting worse she ordered a test for her veins. Ah what's the name of it??? Can't recall, it's a something series. She referred it to Mom's vascular surgeon.
We see PCP on Weds. And vascular surgeon on Thurs.
I haven't brought up hospice to any Dr before. I thought she would get somewhat better. But she's really suffering and PCP is so reluctant to give her pain meds. due to the opiate abuse running ramped, especially in this area. We even have Drs who refuse to give any narcotics at all. They tell all new patient this upfront.
It was like pulling teeth to get the few she'd given Mom, even at this small dosage. Again she referred us to the vascular surgeon for pain meds. Mom might need beyond the little bit she gave her.Which was only to get through until Mom's VS appointment.
I'm really at a loss. She's really just had it.
I will definitely throw it out at our visit Weds. with PCP.
I think that you need to have hospice evaluate your Mom.
This is what one of the hospice in my town say about their services: "When to Consider: If a patient has a terminal illness and can no longer benefit from treatment or has been given a prognosis of living six months or less."
While most hospice organizations state that their care is for people who have a prognosis of living six months or less, I know that they do and have cared for people who lived longer than that. I personally know of someone who has been on hospice for 9 months. I know of some other people who "graduated" from hospice (for now) because they got better.
It wouldn't hurt to have a evaluation done and if you don't have an evaluation done, you will never know whether your Mother could have qualified for hospice or not. Please call your doctor and ask him/her for a reference to hospice.
We all care about you and your family very, very much and we want the best for you and for your family. God Bless!
"Do not fear, for I am with you...I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you...." ISAIAH 41:10 ^^Prayers^^
The 6 month time line does not always apply or rather it did not in my Mom’s case. Mom was on a steady decline. She was re-evaluated after 6 months, shown to still be in decline and remained on Hospice.
The drugs that may be needed to keep your Mom comfortable may be an issue. I’m sure Hospice can suggest options for your circumstances.
You always make me smile! I love reading your posts. 🤗
Oh yeah, Mom's well aware I'm in recovery. I do what I need to to maintain my sobriety. All my friends are in recovery too, so there's a lot of support for me there. I just feel I worked way too hard and come so far, to let a stupid Xanax or pain pill take me down. The disease of addiction has my total respect, and in that I don't challenge its insidious power. So the pills stay lock away.
I'm off for a break. Going to get my, very neglected, nails done and eye brows waxed. You bet I'll have that country music pumping in the car!
Then I will grab Mom a nice fat steak for dinner. The girl doesn't have a tooth in her head, but she sure can gum her some steak. Lolol🤣
I truly thank you for your prayers! All things are possible for those who believe.... I just forget that from time to time.
Since your Mom is seeing a vascular surgeon on Thursday, the day after she sees her PCP, he/she may not be willing to write a request for a hospice evaluation until the results of the tests are back. So bring up the hospice evaluation to the vascular surgeon also. How old is your Mom? I can't remember.
Because your Mom is "really suffering", you need to be "aggressive" (in a calm and respectful way) in requesting pain relief for your Mom. I hope that the doctor appointments give your Mom (and you) some relief from the pain she is experiencing. God Bless.
I think there has to be a somewhat terminal component (sorry to sound so morbid) to the illness and a progressive decline. My Dad qualified and he's only on 2L of oxygen continuous. His weight is the only factor that seems to be keeping him qualified to stay on because it's declining. I'm just saying that to say that our version of "sick enough" may not be what Hospice thinks.
...and congrats on your recovery!!! That's awesome!!! Keep coming back!!!
A chiropractor. My chiropractor recommends ICE for the pain.
Warm baths/showers 2 x per day.
Physical therapy designed to strengthen.
My elder loved one tried the cannabis route, two years ago. He is 87 now. He did not like the fact that it made him high, so he stopped it. I think he takes #3 Tylenol, a heating pad. He has a chiro and physical therapist, and a great smile. Yeah, he is in a lot of pain, but keeps trying. Two years ago, his family thought he had 6 mos. to live and a diagnosis of cancer of the lung. He did not, and is better today, and his living situation has improved.
The end of your first post brought tears to my eyes. I know that sounds corny, I'm just overly emotional today. What a beautiful thing to say. And more so to hear right now.
Mom's 72. I don't think her Dr knows I'm in recovery. I do tell every Dr I go to, even my dentist. I'm to afraid not to.
I'm going to talk to her PCP and ask about hospice.
GA
The test the Dr ordered is called a Doppler Series. Going to look that up right now. She has lots of pain, very little tingling.
About 10:30 this morning Mom couldn't make it back into the house from the back deck. Her legs kept going down. We got her to the living room, she feel asleep after about 10 minutes. I went to get my nails done, just got back and she's still asleep. That's odd, if she does sleep in the daytime, she just nods off for a few minutes. Yep, she's breathing, I just checked.
www.mayoclinic.org/doppler-ultrasound/expert-answers/faq-20058452
If it is, google Doppler Ultrasound.
Great minds think alike...lol
I just left that site. I always go to Mayo Clinic too. That's the same test she had for her corrotids. I just didn't know that was what it was called. She had it at the hospital after her first stroke.
I researched hospice in my county, and wouldn't you know it, they have it right there at the hospital we go to, where her medical team has rights. Thank you a million. You're always on the ball!
Sendhelp,
I don't think Palliative Care is covered by Medicare. We could never swing it money wise.
So, Mr. Great Smile didn't like getting high? Really, people like that boggle my mind. 🤔 Tee-heehee, I just have to keep a sense of humor. Anywho, I think the properties that get people high is called THC. The company claim's it's all been removed. We'll see.
So your LO has lung cancer for two years and is doing well? God bless him.
Thank you MidKid58, I'm sure I'd be fine, as long as we put safety nets in place.
Tinyblu, 😉 👍
And yes, God Bless him. He has so many other challenges.
Your Mom is relatively young Pepsee. I get a feeling, reading your posts, that you are in the early stages of getting her properly diagnosed and treated?
Misdiagnosis!! Holy 🐄 cow what a relief.
Yes, this is the early stages. She's only been with me two months. I have absolutely no experience in this. That's why I'm here, and sometimes panic.😨
BettyBoop77,
You are so right, we're all getting up there. And these bodies are breaking down. Heck the other day I actually tripped over my boob....wow that coulda been bad. 😯
I have had double vision for a few years and as I got older it was becoming annoying to me. I finally became brave and mentioned it to my ophthalmologist. No fall was involved, more like a lazy eye. So while she was doing the eye test [which is better A or B], she was able to make all the letters move together. Thus I needed to have a prism placed in my eye glass lenses.
One would never know the prism is there. Wow what a difference :)) I can see my boss at his desk from my desk, and now he only has one head instead of two :P
The prism in the lens is exactly what the neurologist said she needed. As a matter of fact, the neurologist has the prism in her glasses. They said it cost about $500.00 bucks. What did you pay? Either way she needs it. Glad you don't have a two headed boss! Lol
No heart issues detected. And she won't do rehab inpatient....grrr
I'm so sorry this is happening!! Just a thought but do you think this could be a reaction to the Neurontin? The side effects listed are much of what you reported - Drowsiness, dizziness, loss of coordination, tiredness, blurred/double vision, unusual eye movements, or shaking (tremor).
Vertigo can also cause some of that as well. My mom has vertigo, not the ear crystals one, and when it hits it's really bad, like can't sit up for more than 10 seconds bad and can last for a couple of weeks.
Just my two cents to throw in. Hang in there, you're doing a great job!