I cant do this anymore as ive been on here typing my mum threw another trantrum and just stormed off to bed banging doors etc... I know she is bored and takes this out on me but im done i cant live like this anymore i want my life back.
She wont go to respite so i can have a break even though its free?
she refuses to let me take control of her meds which is dangerous as shes not taking them.
She wont wash much and pees all over the place.
She cant cook anymore as shes left stuff on the hob
She wont eat unless im here
She wont go to daycare
she wont go to doctors
she wont allow me POA
she is becoming more and more aggressive and im finding this scary
Do you think its time for her to go into a home now as i just cant cope alone anymore.
In january the nurse said they would get her a carer to come in everyday for her meds but this has not happened.
we have a carer who comes 3 times a wk and does nothing as mum wont
let her?
She will not cooperate with anyone carers OR me
Im sick in my stomach with anxiety as i feel this is it i cannot do this anymore i want to be her daughter again and see her when i can and get her the helpy al she needs to stay alive.
She wont let anyone care for her so why do i bother she is becoming a handful and im so tired i cant stop crying.
I want this to end now and soon my caregiving days are over I just cant live like this, everyday is a row over something to do with her care and she just wont cooperate.
I need to talk to family and tell them its a NH or i leave.
In oct i have a courtcase which will be the first time in 5yrs i will have the money to leave and do something with my life ive realised now that im wasting my time being her caregiver as shes going to get worse she was always an unhappy woman and she will get more bitter,angry etc i cant make her happy so i think its only fair that shes in a NH where her needs are met as if this continues like this she will die.
She has diabetes has been told to excersise or she will lose her use of legs but she just dosnt care.
I am just drained and want a bit of peace in my life its no life with no support or family to help out.
My family just listen and do nothing as long as im here with no money they think they can sit back and let it be. My friends mum says to calm down as this is the illness progressing faster and to wait and see as something is going to happen WHAT? i come home and find her in a heap.
My biggest fear has arrived its a NH or my mental health.
I will speak to her doc and see what happens this is a very scary place to be NEVER did i think my mum would end up in care. Her house can cover the NH so at least i dont have that to worry about but as you say what if she refuses? Here we can get "court order" if she is deemed a danger to herself?
But even this is not easy as long as shes scoring well on the memory tests they think shes OK to be alone its so stupid. I need my family here to back me up but thats a joke until the court case is over and hopefully i win they know im going nowhere. In one year of mums diagnosis NOONE has really come to tell me about all this crap thats ahead of me OR anything about dementia everything ive learnt is through internet and the great guys on here. I have done my best i know that but i still feel like ive failed her if she dosnt go to a NH i have no choice but to walk away and get my head together my brother is down the road but hes useless but at least hes not far.
I pray every day for a solution i know there is h*ll ahead she will not go to a NH unless she falls something scares her into one.
How do you cope?
Ok if shes scared what do I do? she wont talk about it as shes never talked about feelings its not her shes been cold all her life.
The shrink is my only hope OR is he she cant live the way she is living anymore peeing in her room and then gets angry and aggressive when i go in to try and clean it.
Her dignity is well gone and she wont let me help i know what you mean about control but we have to take control of them shes nuts and dosnt know what shes doing shes becoming bored alot more now and agitated i just am not a shrink i dont know how to deal with this anger and aggression im a fairly passive person youre a soldier i am compassionate but who can cope with madness really
I hope you're able to get your mother in a NH when you get your money. I agree that enough is enough. The stress is too much for one person to go through for too long. It totally ruins our lives.
i was only saying it got easier as mom declined . she needed more help and realized it . near the end she was dependant on me for almost every footstep as mobility got worse .
I will stay out all day tomorrow and stay away from her as much as i can as this aggression is scary she may even become violent i dont know what shes doing in her room now but shes banging alot of stuff around.
Captain says she may be getting worse now and is scared and now im scared that its all kicking off and i cant cope.
You can only get someone into a NH here by law if they are deemed " a danger to themselves of others" i think shes a danger here on her own but shes not on her own im here so as one post says they will do nothing until im gone or even then will they?
I will call nurse tomorrow and see what she says they can get her emergency respite but she like last time when i had the stroke refuses to go.
My family apart from one brother will say its her house and if you cant cope then you get out?
Curse this disease it destroys everyone.
My head feels like a "bag of frogs" right now so much crap in my life and i never get a break why do bad things happen to good people?
Thanks guys i need to get things moving here as my friend says put her name down for NH at least!
When my friends mum hit her over the head with a curtain rail she was in NH the next day!
Ive hidden all dangerous weapons and will wear a combat suit to bed!! I know this is not funny but its how i cope.
Im now going to take 2 stilnoct and knock myself out a good sleep is what i need and tomorrow may be brighter?
I just want peace to wake up and not worry anymore to have her die peacefully in her sleep but thats never going to happen so i may prepare for the worst. With all thier issues i think aggression is the one thing that wakes you up to this illness her eyes dilate and shes looking like a madwoman.
JB you must keep your mums diet ok or does she too behave like this? if mum walked and ate better her moods would be better? when she was in NH at xmas she was perkier and alot healthier but said she hated it there and never was she going there again.
Walk away and WHAT sleep in the street? No i go when i can afford it and when my mums safe. If my posts bore you then dont read them because i think youre only solution is to "walk away" and thats not always easy i think the main point im trying to make here is mum is getting worse and she needs a home.
Shes sleeping alot more also which i think is not good i know she wants to die but i never approach this with her ive found choco wrappers all over her bedroom and i didnt buy them so she must be buying behind my back sometimes i think shes trying to kill herself with the diabetes she very well could.
You get so drained that you just want them to do whatever it is they want so you can have a bit of me time? If wed have behaved this way as toddlers she would have hit us with a shoe!!
Your post is sad but funny and describes this well yes shes getting bored and its my fault. She was a good mum although never happy but she wouldnt have ever wanted to end up this way its so unfair shes had a hard life and she should go in peace now as her life was not a happy one and i cant do anything about
You deserve a life.