Mom, 92, living with me for over 10 years and not the easiest person to get along with. Everything is a battle and it's getting worse as I feel there is a bit of dementia slipping in. Mom is having trouble taking her meds correctly and I'm trying to step in but she's being resistant. I feel as though she knows she's slipping and is being combative because of it. Major blow out last night over stupidity like blaming me for her blood pressure being high. I provide her with a nice, comfortable home and yes, she gives me rent money, and why shouldn't she? But she begrudges everything I do from taking vacations to going to the casino, to having a boyfriend and getting my nails done. you name it. She's bitter and miserable through and through. I work all day and never know what I'm walking into when I get home. I have 3 useless brothers and absolutely no outside support whatsoever. I'm at my wit's end trying to tiptoe around her everyday. I can't enjoy my home or my life. I'm 60 and God knows I don't have that many good years left, and meanwhile she is sucking the life out of what I do have. I look forward to the day I can put her in a home. I am so miserable.
Take time for yourself. If Mom can't be alone, hire someone for a few hours or get one or more of your brothers to come and "visit" for an hour or two. You need to take care of YOU.
My mother and I had serious problems when I tried to help with her medications. It was a major control issue with her. I had to take charge, though, because she was not taking them right and overdosing often. Something that worked with us is that I set the doses out in bottles for her every day, then she takes them under her own accord, instead of me handing them to her. That way I make sure she is getting things right without challenging her sense of control. You might be able to think of a similar method that will work with your mother.
For now, it sounds like you need to head off to a warm beach by yourself for a few days. Be sure to stop by here and pick me up on your way there! Margueritas on the beach sound mighty good.
The only one losing her mind is you, so talk with your brothers. Maybe she can spend her rent money at their place and make their lives miserable for a change. I'm not suggesting kicking her a__ to the curb, for just the fact that she spat you into this world and pays rent gives her a bloated sense of entitlement. If she can't clean up her act and respect you in your own home, then she's living in the wrong place.