My husband passed away in 2015. We were married for 44 years & I was his caregiver for the last 2-3 years of his life. I still miss him & have crying jags. Anyway, I’m constantly being told we separate living areas like an in-law area for me. This house is mine & my name is on the mortgage. They contribute to the house bills. It’s the fighting & being made to feel I’m not wanted. I’m 68 & I can’t afford another place to live & I can’t kick them out. My daughter told me I need to see a counselor. Tonight is New Year’s Eve & we always spent it together, even when my husband was here. But I’m being told they can’t do anything because they feel bad leaving me alone tonight to ring in the new year alone. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make this very long
You are very young. Of course you can "kick them out". You simply tell them that living together isn't working, you appreciate their help, but it isn't working and it is making ALL OF YOU unhappy. Give them say three months to find their own place. Or sell them yours, and then move with your own proceeds from your own home to your own apartment and get a new life. For our times you are young. I am 77 and am out there doing everything. So should you be while you are able. You could easily have three more decades of life.
I cannot imagine that your DIL would write to the forum for advice, then turn it upon you on New Years Eve, but as you said, you are not getting along. That is NO WAY to live. It becomes habit. Everyone blames everyone else.
So basically it is in your hands. You would likely live with a stranger, a room mate, more happily than you are living with THIS.
Happy New Year, and do all you can to make it happy. Tell them that this is not working for any of you, and you need now to plan a way to live in seperate quarters. Then they won't be blaming YOU for their staying in on New Year Eve. Lordy! My own partner wants to go to a friends early party tonight, and is going, so he can see old friends they shared much of their lives. I DON'T want to and am staying home with Inspector Morse on TV and Sausage and Beans and we are both happier than pigs in s_ _ _, if you know what I mean. No one's to blame. Life is short. When it works living with someone and letting them be them, then it works and when it doesn't it is best to end it there.
If my husband goes before me, I plan on selling my house and moving to an apartment.
I’m sorry that you are struggling so much in your grieving. Please find a grief support group. You will meet others that are going through similar circumstances.
Best wishes to you.
I am 72, live alone, make my own life, just as it should be. When I can no longer take proper care of myself, I will check myself into IL or AL and go from there.
These adults living with each other plans to save money don't pan out very well.