My husband (62) was diagnosed over a year ago with Alzheimers. He ran up a credit card so high I had to take money out of his 401K to pay it off (I didn't know he had this card until I took over paying the bills). I took all the credit cards and check books (he had his mother's too). He keeps signing up for things and has people calling or coming to the house ie. sleep number bed, windows, etc. He is home and I am at work so he gets the mail and reads all the junk mail and calls these people. Now he has started spitting, he spits in the sink and toilet but has just started to spit on the floor and see nothing wrong with that. My 98 year old mother also lives with us; she takes care of herself and does some cleaning and wash. I also have POA for my mother-in-law who is in a nursing home and is not able to do anything for herself because of a stroke she had 3 years ago. We visit her every Sunday; I drive because my husband can no longer drive. His personality has completely changed. He does go to Day Care 6 times a month because that is all I can afford; can't get any financial aid because with my pay we earn too much; they don't take into consideration that we have bills to pay. Just venting. Thanks for listening.
I send you a big hug. Please keep in touch with us. You are so young to have all this happening. I will keep you in my prayers.
Most phones have a mute button for the ringer. If he can't hear it ring - he won't answer it. (If not just unplug from wall - he won't notice if base unit is still attached).
Keep eye on him and question your Mom as to his behavior while you are out - you don't want him hurting her.
Regarding the mail, can you get a locking mail box that only you have the key to? Mail can go in but not come out. My father answers the phone and cancels appointments. Luckily, he's no longer capable (poor vision and frankly not smart enough anymore) so he doesn't sign up for stuff but he told me I should do PCH when, years ago, he always told me it was a scam.
I have all the house calls come to my cell phone now, to keep my mother from interacting with scammers. She can call out, but no incoming calls. She has a cell phone that her few friends can call her on if they need to talk with her. She does not even know the number on the cell phone.
Luckily mom has stopped all the mail order stuff, for a while it was like Christmas every day, and she would order the same stuff over and over. Some day it is going to be one heck of a tag sale at my house.
Wishing you all the best in finding a solution for this.
Please don't dispair -- but also seek help everywhere and anywhere; this is way too much for you to handle! It's quite late now and I really regret that I don't have the energy to re-type now but will try to do it in the morning. In the meantime, I am going to pray especially hard for you tonight, Oliver2616, and for all the people that you love and you are trying so hard to care for. Angels watch over you! PLEASE stay with us on this thread as I and others will be wanting to help you with any advice and assistance we can! Let us know you are reading! Hugs, Lolli