Hi angels.
Thank you for all your beautiful support! It helps, and makes me feel a little less alone)))
I have a question. The home health nurse (who I really do not care for) said if I can't take my husband to a doctor appointment she could call in a social worker. Let me explain. He is in a memory care facility. They have little shuttles that you have to book 2 weeks in advance, to go to your doctor's appts. This nurse who sees him every 4 weeks for cathader changes told me on the phone last Sunday that it was a priority that he be seen by his primary care doc. I made the appointment for today yesterday I called the home and they said."sorry the bus is booked good-bye" why are they being so cruel?
It hurts. I know if I go pick him up he will be mean nasty and when we get to the clinic, he will be yelling at me calling me hurtful names, and the worst thing, will refuse to leave the car when, or, if I can get him back to the home. That place where he is residing has seen him do this. It's very stressful, embarressing, and he could cause an accident. Back to my question, when the nurse told me she would bring in a social worker, who is benefiting from it? Or is she trying to threaten me?
I have been lied to much, I'm having a hard time with trusting anyone right now. Thank you! And I hope everyone's day is going well!
It sounds as though this situation is ending your ability to have any kind of life. You're very young not to be working, saving for your retirement and looking after your own health. The ins and outs of finding appropriate care for your husband appear to be somewhat overwhelming for you.
This might be something you could discuss with the Social Worker.
Perhaps the SW could advise on whether your husband needs a higher level of care. Perhaps he is actually in need of a nursing home with a dementia unit.
You can hire medical transport. I use an ambulette service when my mom needs to be gotten from the nh to a specialist.
Is he being seen by the geriatric psychiatrist who comes to the facility? Perhaps antianxiety meds for "appointment day" are in order.
Having a social worker assigned to his case could be a good thing. I certainly hope this wasn't used as a threat! It should be an additional service, since caring for someone with dementia is such a huge sad burden and all help should be provided.
I would definitely not try to transport him on your own. Maybe you could do it with help, but trying it alone sounds like asking for trouble.
Find out what role the social worker worker would have.