STP Posted September 2014
How do we not live our life so miserable later in our life?
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Jesse, I'm adppting your question... Specially our age group( baby boomers)....when we get old do we have enough caregivers?.... my wish would be someone find me in my bed dead ... Very peacefully, don't get me wrong I'm not thinking of suicide!
I'm just saying whatever caused my life and death would be not to barther anyone at all.....
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I swear to God, some people find joy is being miserable...in playing the victim...in sitting on that Pitty Pot and not getting up. Their brain pathways have been conditioned to find pleasure in sadness. My advice to everyone? Don't be one of those people and, for heaven's sake, stay away from them.
Want to age well? Prepare for it. Save some money for that rainy day. And when it's pouring outside, don't be afraid to spend it. That's what I'd wish -- for everyone.
Shirt-tail family: She died on her bathroom floor having laid there for twelve hours. I begged her to get a Life Alert. She wouldn't spend the money. She left $1.2 million to her heirs. Not me, by the way. ;)
Her brother? He's 86 now and lives alone. Did he learn? Nope. He probably has $700K or so in the bank. He won't spend a nickel. Freezes MILK so he can buy it by the gallon. I'm his Executor, healthcare proxy and financial POA. When he dies, I'm going to write him a check from his bank account for all of his money and place it in his casket. Finally. He can take it all with him.
Teach your children compassion and empathy. Show them by example what it means to delay gratification and serve others. We don't do that enough.
And plan. Realize that you are not going to avoid the ravages of old age! Nobody gets out of here alive! Get those powers of attorney in place. Have serious conversations with those agents.
Do you care what kind of funeral you have? Plan it. (I'm serious.) Get the number of the funeral home you plan on using, find out about cost, get a contact name. Pick your plot. Pick you casket. Write a short paragraph about it and put it in your "notes to executor" file.
Write your will. Be specific. Specifically pay the executor -- set the amount. It's a LOT of work!! And pick well.
Place your powers of attorney yourself. If you trust those people enough to name them? Let me tell you, it's much easier for YOU to walk into the bank, etc. to place a POA than it is for your healthcare proxy or financial power of attorney. Make it easy for those people to help you when the time comes. And pay them! If they have to be your eyes, ears, legs and brain? Include in your documents a reasonable yearly fee for them right out of the box. Unlike my friend, you can't take it with you.
The very next house you buy after 50? Make it one you can die in. Raised ranch? Sell it. Two-story colonial? Sell it. Buy a nice little ranch home with an attached garage and laundry on the first floor. It isn't rocket science. It's only common sense.
Well, I've preached enough. ;)
The upshot is that we'll age well if we plan on it. We'll get taken care of well if we plan for it. We don't have control over the how or when we'll die . . . or age. But we can hedge our bets.
When I got here 5 years ago, my father was still alive. I thought then that he was close to death, and he was. His body was failing. He ate and drank little. He would have probably qualified for hospice with no trouble, but he didn't want that. He was on the autistic spectrum and didn't want people around. Looking back at the time he lived, I realize that it was a long process of heading toward death. Despite his misery, he lived on, moving from his chair just long enough to go to the bathroom or to get a sweet treat I always bought him. It may be those treats that kept him hanging on so long. :) Or maybe he was afraid to die. He didn't communicate, so I don't know. He was a strong Christian man, so maybe he was afraid to face judgment. I can only speculate. I just know it was very hard to watch him die slowly over the years like he did. I often felt he was decomposing in his chair.
I go to the senior center a few times a week to get some exercise and socialize. It helps me so much to get away from my mother for a while. There are people there the same age as she is and they are playing games and having fun. Some are in pain, some have minds that don't work so well, but they've all made a choice to keep living. That is how I want to be. I want to keep living and not decompose in a chair sitting around until I get sores on my butt. I think we all make the decision how we are going to live until we take our last breath (or until our brain doesn't function well enough anymore).
This is a generalization. I know it is not 100% true. But I believe it is true enough to structure out lives now as a foundation for how we will be later.
Don't want to be a miserable old person? Don't make a habit of misery now.