About 3 years ago this subject was posted on the forum by another writer, and I though I bring back this issue, and start with a clean slate.
For me, I though I was losing brain cells while helping out my very elderly parents who decided that living by themselves, while being in their 90's, was the best thing ever.... NOT. All the sleepless nights I had.... the panic when I saw their caller ID on the phone.... Mom shooing out caregivers.... and driving by my parent's house [lived in same neighborhood] and seeing Dad up on a ladder cleaning the gutters.... YIKES !!
Since my parents hadn't passed that long ago, my brain hasn't recovered. I know this is just probably age related forgetfulness being I am now 70. I had dove into every article and book about dementia, and overloaded myself with info so I could react to my parents should they had gottten dementia. So now the tiniest thing when I can't think of something, I think oh great, I never got to enjoy my retirement, now THIS???
Anyone else going through this?
When I get around "normal" people I act stupid and talk non stop! I'm almost 55 and my kids are noticing it.
Dread "going to town" for fear of making fool of myself. It just feels so good to have conversations with "normal" people, it's like I get over stimulated or something. I hate it
My mother is so isolated that when she gets out she is trying to start conversations with anyone and everyone. I don't know how satisfactory her phone conversations with people are, since she doesn't appear to hear/follow what I'm saying on the phone. If she hasn't talked to me for a while, she gets "squawky." She asked if I noticed her voice sounded different, and I said yes. She briefly was concerned about throat or esphageal cancer, but that hasn't become a new obsession (thank goodness!).
If anyone asks me how my mother is, I have a tendency to go on and on. I really have to stop that!
I would also consider how YOUNG people seem to be as scattered as older ones a lot of the time. I see friends and family members who who are 20-40 years old and they can't keep up with keys, can't be relied on, because they forget so much, and never seem to have anything together. Maybe, their phone holds everything, so they have no need to use those brain muscles. lol
Oh CTTN55, I see you have the same problem ;)
There are some things I am still very sharp about, but it's the other things that I find my brain had gone on vacation without me. My typing is a mess, I will proofread and think who took over my hands !!!
I realized in the past I did feel much better and sharper whenever I did physical labor. But as I got older over those 7 years age related decline was catching up with me. My gosh I use to be able to work all day out in the yard. Now a days, 15 minutes will do me in, and then when squatting down to pull weeds, I couldn't get up.... now what?
Then again, I maybe too critical of myself, and over thinking this slow down on brain power.
And yes, CTTN55, my dad moved back to cabin with DH help. (3 months later he asked to go back to AL, after an ER visit and nurses coming to check on him at home.) While in the hosp. I desperately spoke with a sociol worker and begged for help stating I couldn't do it anymore. He got 2 weeks in home nurse care then asked us if we cared if he went back to AL. We got him moved back in within the next 2 weeks. 👍🏻
I've really had a break from all the worrying since he moved back in late September BUT I'm not the same person. I feel different, can't pinpoint it exactly. Big blah and don't look forward to the future.
Only thing that's keeps me going is a new grand babygirl any day now.
The other thing I read just today in the NY Times was that those people who eat leafy greens like spinach, kale, collard greens, daily, score 11 years younger on the cognitive scale. I am partial to brussel sprouts and broccoli myself. I hope they qualify!!!
But, sadly, overall, we are in decline to some degree or another.
Thank you for posting this. Please be kind to yourself. You are an amazing person for caring for your parents into their 90s. I think it does take time for our minds and bodies to come to terms with our grief and many years of caregiving.
Since my dad passed, I feel that way too. I lost my glasses, my hat, my keys. I make multiple trips to the store. I go for one thing and I can't even remember to buy that one item!
Keep focusing on self care. :-) And thank you for caring about all of us on this forum. I appreciate your answers so much.
Sunnygirl1, I think you have a really good point about the Millenials and their forgetfulness/reliance on their smartphones, etc. We are the "bridge" generation, because we remember life before smartphones/Internet. We remember making our own amusements, spending a lot of time outdoors, READING books, etc. I think all of this technology is hurting our cognition in ways they haven't even discovered yet.
No brains left but crazy/desperate/over the edge maneuvers still seem effective. Got the bed, pills, and paperwork from AL on time.
cdn reader -Oh yeah!!! I walked around the house the other day looking for the handset for the living room phone while talking to my dd on it.
CTTN55 - I really wonder about that too. When I told a grandson that you could play solitaire with REAL cards, he was amazed and thought that was COOL!
windy - you deserve a medal. It's prison now is it? I guess you should have left her bleeding on the floor. It would have stopped eventually! How horrible of you to get them regular meals, a safe environment, medical care, social activities... and also deal with all their business too. Mother wouldn't speak to me for well over 6 months after I precipitated getting her into a geri psych hospital where she got the help she needed. It was a relief.
ff - LOL let us know if it helps~
I'm glad that the days of every conversation revolving around my FIL are behind us, but it is taking a long time to find our new normal! Hopefully my brain will return eventually!!! Good luck to you all in the same boat!
Windyridge, so incredibly happy that you have gotten your folks into Assisted Living! I really hope this works out for you, and that you find your parental workload lessened!!! Merry Christmas Buddy!!!!
"meaner than a junkyard dog", LOVE IT!! I'm the same way...miss the old me.
Looking for more laughs today ❤️
Dad went crazy town on staff Saturday morning. Going to find his car, hitting and kicking. Off to phys eval in the ems bus. Hospital found raging UTI and started meds. Warden reports that things are back under control but I’m afraid he’s destined for the memory care unit pretty soon. It’s in the same facility.
My nephew was visiting the folks yesterday and called me on his iPhone so I could say hi to folks. Mom very curt and frosty with me. Ok, fine. My giveadamn is turned waaay down low.
Dad thought he was in a ski resort. Said the prices in the restaurant were outrageous. Bunch a ol boys stole all the cars in the parking lot and wrecked Em all down in the holler. (Hillbilly term for valley)
Clearly delusional but seemed calm so fine, we’ll go with ski resort.
Did I mention this prison has a cocktail hour? Oh yeah. Each Friday apparently. The inmates are rounded up to the activities room for wine and cheese before dinner. Mom didn’t like the white stuff but the pinkish stuff was pretty good!? These guys bought a bottle of cheap champagne once in 1974 I think.
Such is life in the joint.
Still smiling at that!