Is losing a parent after providing care for years harder than moving them to a facility? I had a thought last night, that almost felt like a light bulb, one of those AHH HAA moments. I know so many that have had a very difficult time processing the grief of losing a parent. That parent has become so dependent on the child caregiver that provides everything, does everything, and often without any sort of support from other family members, nothing but criticism and suspicion. Why do they have such a difficult time? Could losing a parent after providing for their every need be similar to losing a child? I think it may. I cannot imagine the pain of losing one of my children, would it be similar to lose my mom after providing for her every need for years before losing her? Maybe I am fortunate that I did not provide the care until then end, it is hard enough to try to regain my life. But what if it had been until she left this world? I am sure, it would be absolutely devastating, and crushing even if there is a relief that the parent is now free of their disease. What are your thoughts?
I admire all of you that cared for and lost a loved one and hope I can be as courageous as all of you.
My husband died at home. That was hard ... is still hard for me 4 years later. Would it have been easier if he'd been in a care center? Maybe. Who can possibly know?
What might be tougher for hands-on caregivers is the abruptness of the change. I went overnight from providing 24/7 care to zero. What was the point of me?
I hope and pray that I will never be in a position to compare this experience with that of losing a child. But I imagine there is no comparison.
Luckylu, we know what you went through with your mama but you were blessed with a sense of humor too so tomorrow go buy yourself a little treat perhaps an ice cream cone to celebrate the end of summer
it was and is a sad situation ...
I am convinced it was better for me not to have seen my dad die, I am traumatized enough by seeing him the days before, and the loss of him.
not sure where i was going with this comment ...
You just take over the position of lead goose and keep flying though. And realize as hard as it is, it would have been worse for them if they'd outlived you. Such is life on this earth. I do believe a better world awaits, a world made new and the people in it all made whole. We had a beautiful funeral for a very young 65 year old and very beloved parishioner today...last week on the prayer list unexpectedly in CVICU and the next thing we knew,she was gone. Total shock. One of the priests sang Goin' Up Yonder and we did Soon and Very Soon... "No more dyin' there!" And right after, the trauma helicopter from the hospital where she was coordinator did a flyover right over the church. The padre who did the singing used to be our patish priest but had an incredibly hard time after losing his mom, hard time facing his own mortality, just like most of us do...it was awesome he could sing about it and added a little about meeting up with his own beloved family again as well as seeing Jesus face to face. No, no lessons to be learned that we did not already know. Just worship and tears and gratitude mixed together.