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You use the term loved one to cover up your meanness, selfishness, greed, etc. If you don't want the responsibility---fine. But don't use legal loopholes and their frailty to stick them somewhere and take their money.
In answer to the question you posted in your profile, if your mother has not been formally evaluated and diagnosed with Alzheimer’s/ dementia and it can be proven that she is capable of making her own decisions, she can revoke the Power of Attorney she gave your brother and appoint you if that is what she wants to do. Then of she decides moving is what she wants to do, the two of you can make plans to do so. You may want to consult an attorney regarding your brother.
I am very glad that Ahmijoy did some research to see what on earth this is all about. I am afraid I still don't understand the question involved. Wish I did.
Yes, my mother can revoke and wants to and will when I fly in. The Texas State Bill of Rights for long term care facilities states that my mother can do this. It also states that she has a right to leave and make her own decisions. However, my brother, who did not want to watch out for her anymore, but did not want anyone else doing so, spoke with the assisted care facility manager and told them that my mother cannot leave their facility, not even for lunch without his express permission. He even told the facility that I could not call or visit. I had to call the State elder abuse department to even get this overruled. Now the facility is telling me that they have to look over the revocation of my brother’s POA and the new POA and “make a decision” on if my mother can leave——no telling how long this will take them. I can’t help but think that this has more to do with a good paying customer for the facility——and the hell with what my mother wants and her rights. The whole thing smells and I am sure my mother’s case is not a lone incident.
If you had any experience with Assisted Living/Memory Care or Skilled Nursing Facilities, you'd know they are VERY serious about who's allowed to take their residents off the premises!!! I am a receptionist at a Memory Care community and I look at photos DAILY of people who are not allowed to take their folks out of here, even for a walk on a sunny day. There are a TON of reasons why, I've been told, from 'loved ones' hitting their mother to embezzling $20,000 in funds from her checking account. I am sure books can be written on the subject. To suggest that your mother's facility is trying to drag their heels in order to keep her money is doubtful because if they manage to go AGAINST her wishes, she can choose to leave and go to another ALF in a split second, thereby paying monthly fees to someone else! What they're trying to do is to prevent her from leaving with the wrong person and setting themselves up for some serious liability/legal issues. Wishing you luck with your situation.
The facility just can’t let her leave though, it’s their responsibility to make sure she has a safe place to go and that she’s mentally competent and able to make that decision for herself.
My mother has not formally been diagnosed. But, through my brother I have been kept from speaking with her, or visiting her with the assistance of an assisted living facility who is acting as judge, jury and jailer without a court order. It seems from one of the above answers, from a receptionist at one of these facilities, that this is common practice. And the receptionist is relying on hearsay or statements from someone who has something to gain? And because they can be sued? Yes, and hopefully by the people jailed in these facilities. The Bill of Rights for residents of long term care facilities were written for a reason. And some of the reasons are to protect the residents from people taking their homes, all their money, and placing them in a jail that will not allow phone calls and visits---even through the facilities are clearly breaking the law. Next time, I would rather hear from the CEO of the facility, who is probably a lawyer, than the receptionist---who seems to believe whatever is told to her.
Teddiegough, to be honest, you need an attorney who can look at all three sides of this story from your mother’s, your brother’s and your standpoint, examine the actual POA document as it was written, speak with your mother to determine where she is at cognitively, research if your brother’s actions as POA are on the up and up and determine if you have any case. You are always welcome to come here to vent. We have people from all professions, including the legal ones, who would try to help. However, the only answer relevant to your own circumstances will come from your own attorney.
Teddiegough I feel that you definitely have a legitimate concern but instead of blaming the facility that is caring for your mother and their policies you may want to consider discussing this matter with an attorney. This appears to be an issue between you and your brother (not the facility) that you are evidently unable to resolve on your own and the facility is caught in the middle because they are following the instructions of the POA (which they should legally do). Please let us know how this works out for you. I wish you all the best.
Has your mothers POA been activated, short term memory with the ability to do her own finances doesn’t “cut” it. Their are government agencies that protect the elderly. Contact them or a lawyer. The facility would require your mothers signature if the POA wasn’t activated due to incapacity. Or was activated when signed. However your mother still has rights over the POA if she is deemed. It is she who can do this. Read this. Now a POA from my understanding is a national document. It states it’s international document if authorized. This I would state clearly is incorrect. It is not recognised in Australia and vice a versa. My mother is American now residing in Australia. Enduring Power of attorney in place. Neither countries recognise each other. The state they are not legally binding under their national laws. I had to jump through hoops to get guardianship for my mom in the USA. Go figure it’s all done offshore in the Phillipines. Ugh. I now deal with both governments and require both human services agencies to “talk” to each other and me. Nightmare. People think Australia has social medicine program. Use to, now it costs a fortune unless your broke or accept substandard care. So in short. Google what documents your mom needs to file to deem herself fit. If you need help I can help. After doing everything I did remotely and dealing with the Phillipines I think I’m up for anything. Except watching my mom decline with the terrible D😞. Now that is a challenge I am not up for. But I say to myself every morning. It’s not my disease. I will have my turn. I wake up and think what can I do not what can’t I do. So in short you can do this. It will take some effort. Plus the learning curve is like gaining multiple degrees. Plus dealing with people in departments and aged care facilities and health care so called professionals. Now that’s is a learning curve. I don’t take no for an answer. Substandard carers, nurses, doctors. I change. Initially questioning myself for the first year. Now I flick and find a new one. Have a great team in place. I tell my mom it’s like a basketball team. She is centre, I’m coach, geriatrician is captain, cardiologists guard and so forth. Sometimes we have subs or get new team members. Mom now has level 6 Alzheimers/dementia. Like a 3-4 yr old at times and all the rest. You name it hallucinations, delusional, incontinent, scared, cries, depressed, Happy sleeps a lot. It goes on and on. We talk dementia talk and I go into her world. She knows who I am but not others. Ohhh the journey, life with Dementia😕
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
To suggest that your mother's facility is trying to drag their heels in order to keep her money is doubtful because if they manage to go AGAINST her wishes, she can choose to leave and go to another ALF in a split second, thereby paying monthly fees to someone else! What they're trying to do is to prevent her from leaving with the wrong person and setting themselves up for some serious liability/legal issues.
Wishing you luck with your situation.
And the receptionist is relying on hearsay or statements from someone who has something to gain?
And because they can be sued? Yes, and hopefully by the people jailed in these facilities.
The Bill of Rights for residents of long term care facilities were written for a reason. And some of the reasons are to protect the residents from people taking their homes, all their money, and placing them in a jail that will not allow phone calls and visits---even through the facilities are clearly breaking the law.
Next time, I would rather hear from the CEO of the facility, who is probably a lawyer, than the receptionist---who seems to believe whatever is told to her.
I feel that you definitely have a legitimate concern but instead of blaming the facility that is caring for your mother and their policies you may want to consider discussing this matter with an attorney. This appears to be an issue between you and your brother (not the facility) that you are evidently unable to resolve on your own and the facility is caught in the middle because they are following the instructions of the POA (which they should legally do). Please let us know how this works out for you. I wish you all the best.
So in short. Google what documents your mom needs to file to deem herself fit. If you need help I can help. After doing everything I did remotely and dealing with the Phillipines I think I’m up for anything. Except watching my mom decline with the terrible D😞. Now that is a challenge I am not up for. But I say to myself every morning. It’s not my disease. I will have my turn. I wake up and think what can I do not what can’t I do. So in short you can do this. It will take some effort. Plus the learning curve is like gaining multiple degrees. Plus dealing with people in departments and aged care facilities and health care so called professionals. Now that’s is a learning curve. I don’t take no for an answer. Substandard carers, nurses, doctors. I change. Initially questioning myself for the first year. Now I flick and find a new one. Have a great team in place. I tell my mom it’s like a basketball team. She is centre, I’m coach, geriatrician is captain, cardiologists guard and so forth. Sometimes we have subs or get new team members. Mom now has level 6 Alzheimers/dementia. Like a 3-4 yr old at times and all the rest. You name it hallucinations, delusional, incontinent, scared, cries, depressed, Happy sleeps a lot. It goes on and on. We talk dementia talk and I go into her world. She knows who I am but not others. Ohhh the journey, life with Dementia😕
https://www.verywellhealth.com/activating-a-durable-power-of-attorney-for-healthcare-98226
also
https://www.lawdepot.com/law-library/faq/power-of-attorney-faq-united-states/#question2_7